Last week, the kids tried to shove a live kitten into my asshole. Then, my wife tried to eat it. I tell ya, my wife, she can’t cook. When I was roasting our daughter, she burned the gravy. And we got no sex life, either. Me and my wife like to talk after sex, so we stopped putting cockrings on the children and had a conversation. I mean it, that’s the story of my life, no respect. I don’t get no respect. When I used to play hide and seek, the dog ejaculated in my face while licking the baby’s vagina. No respect, I tell ya. No respect...