The accepted scoring system for international tennis was devised by Mrs Edith Algebra of Beaconsfield, England, in 1847. Before that year, old-fashioned British tennis players, who wore long baggy clothes and said “By Jove” at least 175 times in every match they played, used to have a proper 1-to-10 scoring system for each game, which was entirely sensible and commendably easy for adults, children, and retards to follow. We could have carried on for centuries without a squeak of complaint. But after her Ovaltine was spiked with crack by a Jehovah’s Witness in 1847, Mrs Algebra got to thinking about tennis and decided it needed “a kick up the ass”.