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When trade began with more civilized nations, the indiginous Crimeans were scattered into warring factions. From this fecund stew erupted the Crimean Messiah and One True Boss, Al Capone (or in Crimyllic, Al C'pwn). Capone rose to power by pwning his predecessor, Boss Nass, but after the Crimean dictator's face was scarred in a bar room brawl with international superspy Lord Byron the world would never again be orange.

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