Primitive versions of the modern mobile lavatory have existed since prehistory, when amoebae would release waste into the primordial ooze via reverse osmosis. Early man was known to erect vast, coliseum-size shrines where mass excretions transpired as a sacred offering to God. The first single-occupancy mobile lavatory was the coffin in which Catherine the Great was first entombed. Believed to be dead, she soiled herself four times before gravediggers were alerted to her screams. Because the coffin inexplicably had no bottom, the excrement did not collect in the coffin; moreover, gravediggers were baffled as to why Catherine neglected to thus exit her morbid confines as well.