Kitlers, or kitten Hitlers, are a rare breed of cat resulting from a secret Natzification program that occurred late in World War II to ensure that the future seeds of National Socialism could be sown through cats. Attempting to fulfill Hitler’s wishes of taking over the world, they operate by moving into the homes of old Jews and pouncing on them repeatedly until they died of acquired allergies (and poison gas that the Kitlers emit). It is well known that many older Jews have a weakness for furry kittens, as they feel they are kindred spirits due to they fact that they are the only creatures that enjoy whitefish salad. The movement has grown stronger through the years, as each passing of a crazy cat lady adds to the Kitlers’ morale and death toll.
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