The Life and Times of Benjamin Disraeli is an historical pamphlet written by W. E. Gladstone documenting the life of his close friend and political rival Benjamin Disraeli. Here it is in it's entirity: "Once upon the Tyne there was a hideous group of vile pagans known as the French. One of these Frenchmen was a certain Isaac D'Israeli, who, aside from being a vile, filthy Frenchie, was also not a protestant (or even, hold you're disbelief, - and please ask all ladies of a nervous disposition to leave the room - a Christian). Now, in 1806 this vile, filthy man, who was probably a pervert as well, came to live in England with his vile, filthy, perverted two year old son Benjamin (who, like many Frenchmen, it was alleged, was a chicken murderer). Moments after landing at Dover (having been th