Republican Jesus is the central figure in the Republican religion and is the Jesus worshiped by wingnuts. It is highly important to note the following facts about Republican Jesus: * Trademarked slogan: "Feelin' blue? Jesus hates you." * Is one of the most influential non-existent people on Earth, second only to William Shatner. * Although Republican Jesus hails from Bethlehem, his wardrobe consists of clean cut $900 suits (as pictured right), patriotic American T-shirts, Tennessee Titans wear, and a variety of novelty shirts like "I ♥ NY" and "God hates fags". He also sports a trendy cheap rubber W.W.G.W.B.D. bracelet. * He is most certainly white-skinned (as pictured right) even though he (unfortunately) comes from the Middle East. This is seen by Republicans as the Light i