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The first issue featured a story about the "Tickle-Me Hellmo" doll. The morbid spoof of Tickle Me Elmo had several levels of "tickle" responses: Level 1: Hellmo giggles when squeezed! Level 2: Vibrates with glee! Level 3: Hellmo begins to question the nature of the relationship (Why do you keep touching me?). Level 6: Secretes substance inducing vicious rash and temporary blindness. Level 8: Alters child's taste buds so that everything tastes like pork. ...and so on.

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