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Jesus of Jerusalem

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Jesus of Jerusalem's ancestry is completely unknown, although some people may called him a self- hating Jew, but some people claim he was simply found on the front steps of the Jerusalem Hospice one dusty morning. Because of this, the exact date of his birth is also unknown, and historians in particular have simply no idea. However, they do know the source of his name; the owner of the hospice, often employed part-time to clean the Temple of any leftover foreskins, witnessed a ruckus in which an old homeless man, attempting to prophesize about a boy circumsized just minuted before, was beaten by the temple guards. As they dragged him out, he cried out, "Jesus! Jesus! Save me, o Messiah!", prompting the foster parent, as if in jest, to name the young foundling Jesus. Little is known of the

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Jesus of Jerusalem's ancestry is completely unknown, although some people may called him a self- hating Jew, but some people claim he was simply found on the front steps of the Jerusalem Hospice one dusty morning. Because of this, the exact date of his birth is also unknown, and historians in particular have simply no idea. However, they do know the source of his name; the owner of the hospice, often employed part-time to clean the Temple of any leftover foreskins, witnessed a ruckus in which an old homeless man, attempting to prophesize about a boy circumsized just minuted before, was beaten by the temple guards. As they dragged him out, he cried out, "Jesus! Jesus! Save me, o Messiah!", prompting the foster parent, as if in jest, to name the young foundling Jesus. Little is known of the first ten years of this boy's troubled life, but the first recorded information tells us that he was addicted to crack at age 12. Unable to fund his growing habit, he turned to selling drugs, although this still wasn’t bringing him in enough money. He turned to corpse looting (when there wasn’t a suitable supply of corpses to be found, he simply murdered people), which worked for a further two years until all the good corpses had already been looted, and only poor people remained. At this point he was forced to perform sexual acts with strangers in exchange for money, and it was while he was doing this that he discovered his fixation with children.