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Sock demon

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Socks. Everybody has socks. More specifically, everybody has lots of lone halves of pairs of socks. What happens to all the missing socks? It's one of the mysteries of the universe, actually. Right up there with who-made-Earth and what's-in-a-can-of-cheese-whiz. Well, I don't really know. But! Our team of researchers have been working around the clock, a phrase which here means "whenever they can't come up with a good excuse not to, to come up with a good theory on the socks. They have used a tried and true method, known as "when in doubt, blame the devil".

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Socks. Everybody has socks. More specifically, everybody has lots of lone halves of pairs of socks. What happens to all the missing socks? It's one of the mysteries of the universe, actually. Right up there with who-made-Earth and what's-in-a-can-of-cheese-whiz. Well, I don't really know. But! Our team of researchers have been working around the clock, a phrase which here means "whenever they can't come up with a good excuse not to, to come up with a good theory on the socks. They have used a tried and true method, known as "when in doubt, blame the devil". Sock demons! Sock demons sneak into your house through unblocked electrical outlets and steal your socks. You may have noticed that the sock demons are picky about which socks they take. They never, for instance, take the old smelly socks that Aunt Ruth gave you for Christmas. It's always the nice socks, the ones that cost ten dollars, the ones that have polka dots on them, in essence, the ones you like. If you are even slightly sane (which you probably aren't, I know I'm not) you will most likely be wondering something along the lines of "What the hell are they doing with the socks?" or "How did you know what my Aunt Ruth gave me?" or maybe even "What's on TV?". I can't answer the last two, but as far as the socks go, they steal them to build a castle for the Sock Satan. Here is where the relative smartness of the sock demons comes into play. They are smart enough to get into your house in a 45-minute-period without you noticing, but they aren't smart enough to take more valuable items, as opposed to just socks. They can take your socks without leaving any trace behind(other than the missing sock), but they are moronic enough to build a castle out of socks. Yep, you read right. Castle. Made of socks. Sock demons, apparently, take construction cues from the Three Little Pigs.