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Once Bitten/Quotes

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JOLO

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Roasted Guy

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right|300px :Indiana Jones: Snakes...why did it have to be snakes? :Snake: Elderly potheads...why did it have to be elderly potheads. ---- :[Brian vomits on the carpet] :Peter: Oh Lois, your dog threw up. ---- :Neil Goldman: Hey Chris, I noticed you were sitting alone. Mind if I join you. :Chris: Sure, we both have hats, makes sense. ---- :Peter: Alright Brian, it's time for you to take one of these pills from the vet. :Brian: Uh yeah, right. Can we do what we normally where we roll it up in a piece of cheese like you're fooling me? :Peter: Yeah, I guess. But then you're going to have cheese in your ass. ---- :Brian: Peter, get away from my ass! ---- :Meg: Look, I'd love to stay and talk Neil, but I have homework and there was no toilet paper in the girls bathroom. ---- :[As a child cranks his "Pete in the Box", "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays until Peter springs out and falls on the child] :Peter: [inhaling loudly] ...GOES THE WEASEL! ---- :Principal Shepherd: [looking buff as he directs kids through the school hallway] Move along, gotta keep the hallway clear. This isn't because of my divorce. :Chris: Good for him, he actually followed through. ---- :Meg: Thanks for doing my book report Neil. AND I didn't even have to change the handwriting because you write like a girl. :Neil: You should see me throw. ---- :Chris: You know, If I didn't know better I'd think that FISH ARE GHOSTS and I'd also think that you're putting the moves on Meg. ---- :[Brian refers to Stewie as "master"] :Stewie: Master? AND a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie. ---- :[Brian finished tying Peter's bow tie] :Peter: Thanks, Brian. I love the new you. That obedience school really schooled you in obedience. ---- :[Meg is at the theater with Neil] :Meg: You know, this is nice. It's actually the first time I've been on a date since I got the nickname "gutter ball." ---- :[Dr. Hartman is at the theater with his dad and Seamus] :Dr. Hartman: [irritated] Ok dad, you got us in, now just go. ---- :[Cleveland looks around at the Drunken Clam in a frightened manner] :Quagmire: Cleveland, what are you looking at? :Cleveland: I'm on edge. Saw Halloween II last night. :Peter: Brian, go outside. Keep guard for Michael Myers. :Cleveland: If he seem like he dead, he ain't dead. ---- :[Peter heaves rocks at Cleveland's door] :Peter: This is b...'cause I'm drunk. :Cleveland: [from inside] Move out, Irish trash. ---- :[Peter is concerned about Brian's docility] :Lois: I think that we just have to accept that this is how he is now. Don't forget he bit you, Peter. I mean, what if he bit Stewie? :Stewie: [calling from his bedroom] Why don't you bite me, bitch. ---- :[Stewie later considers his words] :Stewie: [from his bedroom] I'm sorry, was that too harsh? It sounded more playful in my head. ---- :[After bonding with Brian again] :Peter: And now I'm gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed. :Brian: NO...We're going to go pee in Meg's bed. :Peter: Good boy.

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Once Bitten