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All of Me All of Me

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The USS Enterprise has tracked down an Orion ship that has been raiding colonies along the Eerina V sector. Kirk and an away team have beamed over to the Orion ship and are attempting to capture it from its captains: Narhal and Susna. While Kirk fights Susna, Narhal attempts to activate the vessel's self destruct system in order to protect the secrets of their planet and take the Enterprise down with them. Kirk is able to overpower Susna and knock Narhal out of the way before he is successful. Todd: Goddamn mother...! How am I so bad at this?! Just once, I'd like to say something doesn't matter, and then have it not matter. Anyway... Todd: So, apparently people do care about John Legend, so let's talk about him. Video for "Tonight (Best You Ever Had)" John Legend: I hit you with the best stroke Todd (VO): So this is John Legend, [picture of, performing at Super Bowl XLVII...] the male Alicia Keys. He's not as pretty as her. [Beat] Oh, okay, he kinda is; but I guess not enough so, so he's not as successful. Todd: The kind of guy people wish they liked more than they do. Video begins "All of Me" is a standard that was originally introduced in 1931 by Belle Baker. It was recorded four times (with four different arrangements) by Frank Sinatra, and has been covered by countless other artists. The Whatnot Monster performs "All of Me" as the opening number in episode 108 of The Muppet Show. As he sings to his lover (re-purposed from the Miss Kitty puppet), the monster removes each of his body parts (including the heart which can be seen on the outside of his chest) and places them all into a small box. "All of Me" is a Moon Man song that was released some time during his classic YTMND era. It was later released on the Miscellaneous mixtape. It is a parody of "All of Me" by John Legend. 1984 comedy movie starring Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin, directed by Carl Reiner. The last of the four movies Martin and Reiner made together (the others were, in order, The Jerk, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid and The Man With Two Brains). All of Me was the 19th episode of Season 2 of Roseanne, also the 42nd overall series episode. Written by Norma Safford Vela and Danny Jacobson, the episode was directed by John Pasquin. It originally aired on ABC-TV on February 20, 1990. All of Me (あなたにあげる, Anata ni Ageru?) is the 4th chapter of Urusei Yatsura Tankobon and Urusei Yatsura Wideban. Dissatisfied 38-year-old attorney Roger Cobb (Martin) is dating his boss' daughter and is also an aspiring jazz guitarist. A difficult, eccentric millionairess named Edwina Cutwater (Tomlin) has been bedridden since childhood. Cutwater hires Roger to make some unusual final arrangements to her will.

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"All of Me" is a Moon Man song that was released some time during his classic YTMND era. It was later released on the Miscellaneous mixtape. It is a parody of "All of Me" by John Legend. The USS Enterprise has tracked down an Orion ship that has been raiding colonies along the Eerina V sector. Kirk and an away team have beamed over to the Orion ship and are attempting to capture it from its captains: Narhal and Susna. While Kirk fights Susna, Narhal attempts to activate the vessel's self destruct system in order to protect the secrets of their planet and take the Enterprise down with them. Kirk is able to overpower Susna and knock Narhal out of the way before he is successful. Back in sickbay, Dr. McCoy asks Kirk exactly what the point of this mission was. Kirk explains that while Orion has been claiming neutrality, their pirate ships have been raiding outer colonies for years. When these ships face capture, they self destruct while the Orion government dismisses them as rogues. If they were able to capture one intact, it would help to prove Starfleet's suspicions that these vessels are not as rogue as the government claims. McCoy tells Kirk that someone else should be leading these missions and he shouldn't always put his life on the line, but Kirk retorts that he wouldn't ask his crew to do anything he wouldn't do himself. Uhura then contacts Kirk to inform him they have received a message from Starfleet Command. Kirk proceeds to the bridge in order to take it. Admiral Fitzpatrick orders the Enterprise to proceed to Pollux II at best possible speed in order to assist Armand St. John with whatever assistance he requires to safeguard his newest discovery. Kirk informs the Fitzpatrick that he has a brig full of Pirates to deliver to Gelb VII and asks why he doesn't send a closer ship. The Admiral explains that St. John specifically requested that Enterprise be sent and that given his past discoveries, the Federation wants every possible courtesy to be extended to St. John. While Kirk and McCoy wonder why St. John would request that they be sent, Spock tells them he believes he is the reason. Spock and St. John attended the academy together and St. John once claimed that Spock was the only person in the Federation capable of understanding his brilliance. Kirk has Spock give a full report given on St. John. Spock classifies him as the most brilliant and mercurial man he has ever met. He is also conceited and prone to violent emotional outbursts. Wondering why such a brilliant man could behave this way, Spock did some research into St. John's past. His parents were successful and affluent socialites who were ill-equipped to raise their son. He grew up with a succession of nannies all of whom he resented. Though his parents gave him every material thing he asked for, he was only to gain their attention through tantrums. Though his parents disapproved, when he reached the age of consent, he enrolled in Starfleet Academy. St. John considered Spock to be his only friend at the academy, though Spock would frequently chastise St. John for the irresponsible shortcuts he would use during research. When one of these experiments caused extensive damage to the campus, St. John was expelled from the academy. He briefly worked in the family business, but found even less success there. Soon thereafter, he founded the research facility on Pollux II, considered to currently be the most advanced in the Federation. There is some controversy surrounding the facility as St. John abandoned his experiments on transwarp drive once something else caught his fancy. The Federation however is convinced whatever discovery he has made is worthy of their attention. The Enterprise arrives in orbit around Pollux II and is immediately hailed by Armand St. John, who complains about the length of time it took for Enterprise to arrive. Kirk retorts that perhaps they could have made it faster with transwarp drive. St. John asks to speak with Spock and invites to beam him down and witness his newest discovery, giving him permission to bring Captain Kirk along with two security officers. Kirk tells St. John their own transporters are capable of this, but St. John informs him that he has erected shields around the planet to block all transporter beams except his own. McCoy asks to come along as well, but St. John angrily denies this request. Though Dr. McCoy expresses concern over St. John's psychological state, Kirk, Spock, Chekov, and a security officer beam down to Pollux II. When they arrive, they are confused as they are immediately greeted by a man who looks exactly like Armand St. John, but is wearing a red tunic instead of a blue one. He identifies himself as one of St. John's "others", and shows the captain that on Pollux II, everyone resembles Armand St. John. Sure enough, the planet is populated by members of various humanoid races all bearing a striking resemblance to Armand St. John. Kirk asks Spock if these could be clones, which Spock denies as some of the "others" are of different races, and the technology to combine genetic material to make a clone in this manner is beyond even St. John's capabilities. We are also introduced to a female "other" of Armand St. John. Kirk demands an explanation, and St. John wonders why Spock hasn't figured it out yet. Spock claims he has a theory but will not voice it until he has enough data. St. John claims that he has been reading up on all of Spock's adventures and asks if he remembers the report Enterprise filed about their trip to the mirror universe. Kirk wonders how St. John did this, since the report was classified, but St. John reminds him that his security clearance is at the highest level. St. John then wondered about the possibility of an infinite number of parallel universes, each with their own Armand St. John. He resolved to gather all these alternate St. Johns together in one research facility, making it unnecessary for him to constantly explain himself to those of lower intelligence. Kirk tells St. John that this is a Prime Directive violation since he is depriving alternate universes of people who could be of vast importance. Spock tells Kirk not to worry about this since St. John is clearly misled in thinking that his "others" are being produced in this way. In order to do this, St. John would need to scan for his specific genetic pattern in all planets in all universes he claims to have pulled his "others" from, and the logistics of this are beyond even St. John's capabilities. Spock tells Kirk that there is nothing for the Federation here and suggests that they leave. St. John will not allow them to, since he can't have them giving a negative report to the Federation. He sends a beastly "other", a less evolved version of St. John, at Kirk. Kirk tries to shoot the beast with a phaser with no success and instead has to settle for wrestling him. He yells out for Spock to help him out, and when he is eventually pinned, St. John gestures over to an unconscious Spock and three of Spock's recently created "others", one of them Romulan, one of them with a more primate-like appearance, and one of them looking similar to mirror Spock. Kirk, Spock, Chekov, and the Security Officer are being held prisoner on Pollux II. Meanwhile, on Enterprise, a group of Armand St. John's others have boarded the ship, released the Orions from the brig, and are attempting to gain control. They are unable to break into engineering as Mr. Scott rewrote all the sections' programming into a new language during the boarding attempt. All systems except life support have been shut down. On Pollux II, Armand St. John has faith that his "others" will soon be able to break Mr. Scott's code due to their superior intellect and makes it clear that he intends to use his "others" to rule the entire Federation, as someone of his intelligence is the only one who can keep it from falling into shambles. Spock then tells St. John he will consider joining him if he explains his plan in more detail. Kirk yells in objection but St. John silences him. He releases Spock from the force field imprisoning him, and at Spock's urging, Kirk as well, since St. John said his rule would be benign and this treatment of a guest did not seem compatible with that motive. Spock then asks to examine the machine more closely. Meanwhile, Enterprise has managed to raise shields in order to prevent more "others" from beaming on board. Even after examining St. John's machine four times, Spock is still unconvinced that it does what St. John claims it does. He also wonders how St. John is able to command both Romulan and Klingon variants of himself, as it is difficult to imagine either of those species taking orders from a human. Spock asks to see the machine in operation, and while St. John runs it, notes that the "others" collected by St. John seem to be created exactly as he wished them to. St. John's machine then produces a female "other" of Captain Kirk, calling herself Jane T. Kirk, commander of the Foundation starship Enterprise. Spock claims this proves the machine to be the deception he thought it was, since while previously examining the machine he disconnected the power supply. In rage, St. John orders his guards to attack the away team, but Spock subdues his Romulan "other" and takes his disruptor, aiming it at St. John and forcing him to surrender. Spock then explains to Kirk that since the machine still appeared to function when the power was disconnected, and since genetic engineering has not progressed far enough to create duplicates in this manner, the only logical conclusion is that some other unknown force is at work here, creating St. John's "others" exactly as he wanted them to appear. St. John denies this, and receives a transmission from his "others" aboard Enterprise, claiming they have broken Mr. Scott's code and taken control of the vessel. The weapons Kirk and the away team have captured disappear from their hands, causing St. John to claim that if there is an unknown force at work, it has chosen to side with him. While fighting breaks out on Pollux II, Spock is able to force St. John into a mind meld, convincing him that the gathering apparatus was always a charade. The "others" then all disappear, leaving the Orions severely outnumbered on the Enterprise bridge and St. John reduced to hysterics on Pollux II. Back on Enterprise, Kirk has arranged for St. John to be transferred to the psychiatric facilities on Elba II, as he seems to have lost track of reality and is merely drifting between his shadow universes. Kirk and Spock discuss the recent mission over a game of three-dimensional chess when they are interrupted by a voice. A creature calling himself "Djinn", resembling the Islamic spirit of the same name, appears. He claims to be the power between Armand St. John's duplicates and did so to destroy St. John's mind out of his hatred for humanity. He then tells Kirk and Spock that near the Orion ship they captured was a remote human colony, Leora IV, which was close to a discovery that could greatly evolve humanity, giving it powers rivaling his own. He claims to have sent Enterprise away from the region so he could destroy the colony with little resistance, eliminating the threat to his power. Djinn then disappears. Uhura contacts Kirk and says they have just received a distress call from Leora IV. Enterprise travels there at maximum warp, but is unable to find any survivors of the attack. Spock contemplates Djinn in his personal log, still curious as to why he has such a great hatred for humanity, and deduces that his people are probably already in their descent, and therefore Djinn lashes out at humanity in fear, as they will someday surpass him. All of Me (あなたにあげる, Anata ni Ageru?) is the 4th chapter of Urusei Yatsura Tankobon and Urusei Yatsura Wideban. Todd: Goddamn mother...! How am I so bad at this?! Just once, I'd like to say something doesn't matter, and then have it not matter. Anyway... Todd: So, apparently people do care about John Legend, so let's talk about him. Video for "Tonight (Best You Ever Had)" John Legend: I hit you with the best stroke Todd (VO): So this is John Legend, [picture of, performing at Super Bowl XLVII...] the male Alicia Keys. He's not as pretty as her. [Beat] Oh, okay, he kinda is; but I guess not enough so, so he's not as successful. Todd: But in pretty much every other regard, her and him are virtually identical. Todd (VO): They're neo-soul-influenced piano players, smart, classy, impossibly talented as singers and pianists, and yet somehow kind of limited artistically by all of the above. Todd: The kind of guy people wish they liked more than they do. Video for "Used to Love U" John: Maybe it's me Maybe I bore you Todd: [sigh] Yeah, maybe. Todd (VO): And yeah, I do like John Legend—or at the very least, I respect him—but I was really surprised to see him have a huge pop hit like he has right now, especially this one. Video for "All of Me" John: 'Cause all of me... Todd (VO): Actually, I don't know how many people actually know anything about the guy, so I figure I'd better give some backstory. Todd: In terms of pop success, John Legend has had basically only two notable songs, and neither of them were huge, but they were the closest he's gotten to pop stardom. Clip of "Ordinary People" Todd (VO): The first was his breakthrough and signature tune, "Ordinary People". John: We're just ordinary people Todd (VO): Now this was a stripped-down solo piano ballad, and I absolutely loved it, but it kind of gave me the impression that he was not a guy worth exploring further. Todd: His other hit was a much more upbeat dance jam with Andre 3000 called "Green Light". Clip of "Green Light" John: I just need permission so Give me the green light Todd (VO): This was also a pretty damn great song, and in a better world, the go-to anthem for picking up chicks would be John Legend's smooth, respectful request for the green light, and not [clip of "Blurred Lines" by...] Robin Thicke's pushy, mouth-breathing insistence that he "knows you want it." Ugh. But somehow, "Green Light" didn't break the impression of John Legend as a guy who makes sleepy music for old people. Todd: If anything, it kind of reinforced it. Andre 3000: Sometimes you gotta step from behind the piano Todd (VO): "Green Light" can only come off like a fluke when both the song and the video make fun of him for being boring. In the video, John plays "Ordinary People" John: Only ordinary people Todd (VO): I mean, look at that poor guy, just playing his piano at a party, no one paying attention. You just feel sorry for him. What a sad, pathetic schmuck that guy is. [Cut to party: Todd at piano, with Paw, Elisa Hansen and Kyle standing around.] Todd: All right, everybody sing along! Dear Slim: I wrote you, but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom [The three party-goers slowly back away] I sent you two letters back in autumn, you must not have got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office Clip of "PDA (We Just Don't Care)" John: Let's go to the park Todd (VO): And none of that is really fair to the guy. He's a more interesting artist and all that. I mean, he works with Kanye, he released a single about banging in public. John: Let's go somewhere they might discover us Todd (VO): It's just that he's never been interested in playing the pop stardom game. He's not gonna be like, you know, Ne-Yo or Robin Thicke. He's not that kind of guy, he's a [brief clip of "Wake Up Everybody"] guy who makes a whole album with the Roots—another act people say they like but don't actually listen to. Todd: But he deserves better regardless. So...you know, I feel like maybe I was unfairly dismissive of his Grammy performance. Video for "All of Me" Todd (VO): John Legend has his first bona fide pop smash, sitting at #2 as I say this, and goddamn, we could use a little sophistication in our music, right? So I'm gonna sit here and... Todd: ...really appreciate it, even if I have to turn off my reflexive disdain for "black guy with acoustic piano" songs. [beat] Wait, that's not even a thing, is it? Okay, well then, there's no problem. Let's enjoy. Video begins Todd: [rubbing chin] Why, that sounds quite good. Yes. John: My head's under water But I'm breathing fine Todd: [with glass of wine in hand] Yes, so much better than that undignified DeRulo fellow. Don't you all agree? John: 'Cause all of me Loves all of you [Brief shot of Todd reading book and wearing glasses] Love your curves and all your edges 'Cause I give you all of me Todd: Stop. Stop. Okay, I'm still not feeling this. Todd (VO): I don't know, this is still just leaving me completely cold. I'm just... why isn't this working? Shouldn't I like this? I'm a piano guy, I should stand up for a fellow piano player. Okay... Todd: ...to be fair, I don't really play like John Legend. He's a very precise performer, and my instructors called my playing a little less...delicate? Back to party, the three party-goers just can't watch. Kyle is hiding behind a book Todd: Exit light, enter night Todd: You know, I still like John Legend, and I loved [clip of...] "Ordinary People", and that was basically no different from this. Why isn't this doing it for me? Okay, well, thinking back, I think I got one answer. You have to put it in context. Todd (VO): "Ordinary People" was a hit in 2005. Todd: This is what 2005 sounded like. Clips of Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"... Fergie: My hump, my hump My hump, my hump, my hump ...50 Cent ft. Olivia - "Candy Shop"... 50 Cent: Take you to the candy shop I let you lick the lollipop ...Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl" Gwen: 'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl I ain't no hollaback girl Todd: So you see why "Ordinary People" stood out. Todd (VO): I mean, a guy who was brave enough to just sit at the piano and let that do all the work was a real breath of fresh air. [Back to "All of Me"] But ten years later, oversupply has lowered the value of that currency. Clip of Bruno Mars - "When I Was Your Man" Bruno: Same bed but it feels just a little bit... Todd (VO): Yeah, we got plenty of piano ballads. Todd: Piano ballads from black guys, [brief clips of A Great Big World - "Say Something"...] white guys, [Christina Perri - "Human"...] white girls, [...and Rihanna - "Stay"] black girls, we weren't really starving for another one. Todd (VO): So for one, it's not anything new; and for another, you wanna know what the upbeat dance song is we have to compare it to now? Todd: 'Cause it sure ain't 50 Cent. Clip of Pharrell - "Happy" Pharrell: It might seem crazy, what I'm 'bout to say Todd (VO): Yes, John Legend is being kept off of the top of the charts right now by 2013's MVP, Pharrell, apparently this year's winner of the "fluke retro-soul hit sweepstakes". Todd: Old jokes don't die, they just adapt to the times. Pharrell: Because I'm happy Todd (VO): And just like previous sweepstakes winners like Andre 3000 and Cee-Lo Green, Pharrell looks to the past to give us the really fun and funky side of old school soul. And technically, John Legend is a neo-soul artist too, but "All of Me" is probably the least soulful and most easy-listening thing Legend has ever done. Todd: Put it like this. Pharrell is giving us [brief clips of Stevie Wonder...] Songs in the Key of Life, [...and Lionel Richie] and Legend is giving us "Three Times a Lady". But the other songs out there don't matter that much. I don't... Todd (VO): ...care if literally every other song out right now were stupid club pop like in 2005. It doesn't matter if this song isn't good on its own. Todd: And...I don't know, it's just not very impressive. Todd (VO): There's no way to listen to this song without comparing it to "Ordinary People", and it fails to live up in pretty much every conceivable measure. And I know I say this over and over again—if you expect a song to survive on just the bare bones, those bare bones better be goddamn amazing. Todd: If they are not, do something else. Todd (VO): And "Ordinary People" absolutely lived up to that standard. It's just impressive from the first notes. [Start of "Ordinary People"] It's got that fancy, complicated intro full of all these hand-busting arpeggiated chords. Todd: [placing sheet music] Here, let me try and play it for you. Okay... [plays as chords are displayed, struggling a bit] wait, wait... slow down... [final chord is a mess] okay, screw you. Todd (VO): Yeah, but you see my point, right? It's impressive. Now compare that... Todd: ...to the piano intro to "All of Me". Single bar of Nick Long's "Four Chord Song" over opening of Journey - "Don't Stop Believing" Todd (VO): Wait, are you kidding me? This is a "pop song chords" song. Todd: Let me see this. [Plays intro to "All of Me" and whistles along to find it's right] Oh, how about that. Todd (VO): Well, it wasn't even about the chords, it's just not very complicated. [Intro goes on] I can get my dog to play that. Todd: [pats legs] Matter of fact, come here. Come here. [Picks up Kali] Who's a good dog? Now play John Legend. Play John Legend. [Places Kali's paws on appropriate keys, with a couple sour notes] Oh, good enough. Good enough. Who's so good? Who's so talented? Now play this part. John: My head's under water Todd: Oh, we'll work on that later. [Puts Kali down] Who's a good dog? Todd (VO): And "Ordinary People" wasn't just complex in the piano fingering, it was also complex emotionally, like the ways that love is confusing, difficult, hard work, and people make mistakes. "All of Me" is not about that. It's about...well, it's about [I <3 You image] "I love you." Todd: "I love you"—nothing more, nothing less. Todd (VO): He's taken the most overused chords and most overused instrumentation for the most overused theme in history. Todd: It's not like it's added anything new. Like, what does it have to say about "I love you"? John: 'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges Todd (VO): All your diameters and vertices. Like... Todd: ...is that it? I...I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. "All of me loves all of you." Is that...does that mean anything? It's not like... Todd (VO): ..."all of me" and "all of you" adds anything; it was implied. We knew that already. No one was ever singing... Todd: [singing] some of me loves part of you.I don't like your imperfectionsThat's why they're called imperfections Todd (VO): Damn it, John. Try harder. What specifically do you like about this girl? Why is she so great that you give her all of you? Start from the beginning. John: What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out Todd (VO): Oh, oh, okay. Todd: You like being kicked out by her smart mouth. [beat] That didn't sound flattering at all. John: What would I do without your smart mouth? Todd: Dude, you know what "smart mouth" means, right? Todd (VO): Arrogant, obnoxious, needs to shut up. Todd: I don't think I've ever heard "smart mouth" used as a compliment. That's like saying, "what would I do without your fat face?" I mean, maybe "fat face" is a term of endearment between you and her, I don't know. Todd (VO): And "kicking me out"? John: ...and you kicking me out Todd: I gather you don't mean being forcibly evicted, which is what most people mean by it. What did you mean by it? It sounds like you're being jerked around. John: I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind Todd: This is...are you sure you're in love, dude? How do you know her mind is beautiful if you don't know what's going on in it? John: And I'm so dizzy Todd (VO): The more I listen to this, honestly, he doesn't sound in love, he just sounds confused, trying to convince himself. Todd: How can you love all of her when you don't even seem to know half of her? John: You're crazy and I'm out of my mind Todd (VO): I...well...you know, love can be confusing. It can be crazy and exciting, so I guess that's what John Legend's going for, that kind of dizzy, euphoric infatuation that... Todd: ..."Ordinary People" was emphatically not about. John: Past the infatuation phase Todd (VO): And it wasn't about that for a damn good reason—it's a solo piano song. This kind of music...this does not make me feel wild, crazy in love; it makes me feel like I'm [picture of fancy restaurant] eating dinner. Todd: I mean, a nice dinner at a fancy place, someplace you'd want to take someone you love, if that was what he was going for. But it does not make me feel I'm in love, it makes me feel like seeing if I want to splurge on the [picture of...] beef cordon bleu. Todd (VO): And lyrically, John Legend has one other trick here. John: All your perfect imperfections Todd (VO): "Perfect imperfections," you... It's almost [brief clip of "Little Things" by...] One Direction-level bad. Todd: Okay, no, it's not, nothing's that bad. But you see, John Legend pulls... Todd (VO): ...the rhetorical trick of claiming that even the bad things are actually good things. Todd: Maybe he pulls that trick a little too often. John: Perfect imperfections Even when you're crying you're beautiful too Even when I lose I'm winning Clip from Mystery Men Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller): Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." Todd: Now is "All of Me" the worst song I've ever heard? No, not at all. Todd (VO): John Legend's a great piano player, he's a great singer, and compare it to Bruno Mars, and it's obvious how much more sincere and heartfelt he is, and if we get some better John Legend out of this, I'm not gonna complain. I just wish it was something other than this. I wish it was more than a talented artist lucking out on a Top 40 trend with his weakest single to date. Todd: This is corny and boring and kind of vapid and...ugh, I don't know, disappointed. None of me likes any of this. Sorry. John: ...of you, oh Todd: I'm the man in the box "All of Me" is a standard that was originally introduced in 1931 by Belle Baker. It was recorded four times (with four different arrangements) by Frank Sinatra, and has been covered by countless other artists. The Whatnot Monster performs "All of Me" as the opening number in episode 108 of The Muppet Show. As he sings to his lover (re-purposed from the Miss Kitty puppet), the monster removes each of his body parts (including the heart which can be seen on the outside of his chest) and places them all into a small box. 1984 comedy movie starring Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin, directed by Carl Reiner. The last of the four movies Martin and Reiner made together (the others were, in order, The Jerk, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid and The Man With Two Brains). The plot concerns dying millionairess Edwina Cutwater (Tomlin) who, having never had a real life, makes a deal with her stablemaid Terry (Victoria Tennant) to help the younger woman Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence, allowing Edwina to take over her body. However, the procedure is screwed up, causing Edwina's spirit to instead be passed into Roger Cobb (Martin), her recently-fired lawyer. Dissatisfied 38-year-old attorney Roger Cobb (Martin) is dating his boss' daughter and is also an aspiring jazz guitarist. A difficult, eccentric millionairess named Edwina Cutwater (Tomlin) has been bedridden since childhood. Cutwater hires Roger to make some unusual final arrangements to her will. Having discovered she is dying, Edwina has enlisted the aid of a culture-shocked mystic named Prahka Lasa (Richard Libertini), who has mastered the secret of transferring human souls. She has made an arrangement with Terry Hoskins (Victoria Tennant), a beautiful young woman. Edwina wants her own soul placed in Terry's vacated body so that she can finally experience youth and health. Roger is to change Edwina's will so that Terry, her future self, is her sole beneficiary. Roger, unsurprisingly, believes the whole plan is "bananas". Edwina dies at the law office. The soul-transfer works, but the vase temporarily holding her soul falls out the window and hits Roger. Roger ends up with Edwina's soul sharing his body. She has control over the right side of his body and he the left. She causes him to lose both his girlfriend and his job. Besides being able to hear her thoughts, Roger talks to Edwina's image that appears in mirrors and other reflective surfaces. Their relationship gradually warms up, but both of them want Edwina out of his body. Terry, meanwhile, is shocked to learn that the soul-transference really works, as she only agreed to it to get Edwina's fortune. Terry tries to prevent Roger from reaching the holy man, but when he does, she refuses to cooperate. When Roger, Prahka and Roger's blind friend Tyrone Wattell (Jason Bernard) sneak into Terry's bedroom, she is waiting with a loaded gun. She intends to kill Roger and pass him off as an intruder, but Roger manages to gain the upper hand. Rather than go to jail for life as a three-time loser, Terry consents to having her soul placed into the body of her favorite horse and let Edwina take up residence in her body as originally planned. The final shot shows Roger and Edwina (who now resides in Terry's body) dancing together. All of Me was the 19th episode of Season 2 of Roseanne, also the 42nd overall series episode. Written by Norma Safford Vela and Danny Jacobson, the episode was directed by John Pasquin. It originally aired on ABC-TV on February 20, 1990.

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