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Robert Levis

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Very little is known about Fr. Robert J. J. Levis's early childhood. According to his offical biography most of the original paperwork was destroyed after the second great flood that took place in upstate Pennsylvania in the summer of 1882. Sources say that Fr. Bob Levis reincarnated several times. In his past, he was a Pig, a Flea, a Sofa, and a Goodyear tire. His father, Noah Levis, had a vision that Jesus Christ told him that he was going to flood upstate Pennsylvania for its "wickedness." Those in upstate Pennsylvania had the reputation of having sexual relations without a white bedsheet with a hole cut in the middle, separating husband and wife. The Lord said that this was an abomination and that the village must be destroyed. Noah Levis, an upstanding citizen of the village, diligent

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Very little is known about Fr. Robert J. J. Levis's early childhood. According to his offical biography most of the original paperwork was destroyed after the second great flood that took place in upstate Pennsylvania in the summer of 1882. Sources say that Fr. Bob Levis reincarnated several times. In his past, he was a Pig, a Flea, a Sofa, and a Goodyear tire. His father, Noah Levis, had a vision that Jesus Christ told him that he was going to flood upstate Pennsylvania for its "wickedness." Those in upstate Pennsylvania had the reputation of having sexual relations without a white bedsheet with a hole cut in the middle, separating husband and wife. The Lord said that this was an abomination and that the village must be destroyed. Noah Levis, an upstanding citizen of the village, diligently used white bed sheets (sometimes red ones when he was feeling kinky) with a holes cut in the middle while having intercourse with his wife. Pleased with Noah Levis' faithfulness, the Lord instructed Noah Levis to construct a dinghy completely made out of popsicle sticks, if he wanted to save himself and his family from the impending flood. He was to take this dinghy onto Lake Erie with two of every kind of animal as well as other faithful Catholics in his area. After 25 minutes, Noah Levis felt that constructing this dinghy was too difficult and decided that he was going to become Episcopalian because it is, "Basically Catholicism without the guilt."