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The Perils Of Penelope (Century 21)/Transcript

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Lady Penelope: "Ah, well. Down the hatch!" Parker: "I beg pardon, m'lady, but the drink was drugged." Waiter: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Madame. I had no idea. The gentleman asked me for a light and he must have put something in your glass when my eyes were blinded by the flame." Lady Penelope: "Oh dear, how tiresome. It looked such a pretty Pernod, too." [To Sir Jeremy:] "Any sign of him?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Not a dashed thing, Penelope." Parker: "I'm afraid he gave us the slip, m'lady." Lady Penelope: "It looks as if he's left something behind." Jeff: "Think you'll need any help?" Tin-Tin: "Not on it!?"

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Lady Penelope: "Ah, well. Down the hatch!" Parker: "I beg pardon, m'lady, but the drink was drugged." Waiter: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Madame. I had no idea. The gentleman asked me for a light and he must have put something in your glass when my eyes were blinded by the flame." Lady Penelope: "Oh dear, how tiresome. It looked such a pretty Pernod, too." [To Sir Jeremy:] "Any sign of him?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Not a dashed thing, Penelope." Parker: "I'm afraid he gave us the slip, m'lady." Lady Penelope: "It looks as if he's left something behind." Lady Penelope: "I don't think I recognise the crest. Do you, Sir Jeremy?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Afraid not, old girl. But we could pop along to the heraldic archives and look it up." Lady Penelope: "Yes, we can go in the morning. Sir Jeremy, perhaps now you would be so good as to escort me back to my hotel. You'd better tell me what this is all about." Lady Penelope: "First of all, you are certain that Professor Borender travelled on that train?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Absolutely. I saw him off at the station myself, but the attendant on the train swears that I'm mistaken, and that no-one of that name travelled." Lady Penelope: "Can you think of any reason why the professor should disappear like this? Sir Jeremy Hodge: "One excellent reason. For the past year, he and I have been engaged on experiments with sea water. The Professor Borender and I have just perfected a method of converting sea water to fuel. But to convert water into fuel is a very delicate process and can be performed only with the facilities that the Professor and I have devised. In the wrong hands, this process could contaminate the oceans of the world." Lady Penelope: "And the consequences to mankind could be pretty terrifying. Now I understand your precautions." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "I don't think you do. Not completely. You remember the launch last week of the new Sun Probe rocket? Lady Penelope: "Don't tell me that rocket was launched on your new fuel?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "It was, indeed. So, apart from the dangers I've mentioned, it's possible the discovery could upset the balance of power and start a world war." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "You must help me find the professor, dear Lady." Lady Penelope: "Of course. And we've got to work fast. We are up against men who will stop at nothing." Lady Penelope: "I shall require information about Prof. Borender and the recent conference at Paris. Sir Jeremy and I are taking the night train to Anderbad tomorrow." Jeff: "Think you'll need any help?" Lady Penelope: "Very well then, Jeff. Over and out." Lady Penelope: "Ah, Parker, how are you progressing?" Parker: "Very well, m'lady. I'm keeping well up to schedule." Lady Penelope: "We interviewed Professor Borender's attendant, but he's too frightened to tell us anything. Anyway, he's disappeared since dinner. Well, I shall be retiring for the night now, Parker." Parker: "Very good, m'lady. I trust you have everything you require?" Lady Penelope: "Well, I must admit I miss my usual cup of cocoa." Parker: "I did h'anticipate that, m'lady, so I slipped an hot flask of your favourite brand in the front of your 'atbox." Lady Penelope: "Thank you, Parker. Good night then." Parker: "Good night, m'lady." Jeff: "Go ahead, Virgil. How's it going?" Virgil [On radio.]: "All according to plan, father. We should be arriving at Anderbad one hour after dawn, taking up position on hill G-F-zero. Parker tells me that Penelope has settled down for the night, and he's now proceeding to Anderbad ahead of the train. He expects to arrive soon after we do, and will later pick up Penelope at the station." Jeff: "Good. Well, I don't think much else can happen before that train gets into Anderbad." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "What's the matter?" Lady Penelope: "Someone's been listening at my door. Come along quietly so as not to awaken the other passengers." Godber: "Good evening, Madame. Can I help you?" Lady Penelope: "Oh! Er... well, we are looking for our attendant. We haven't seen him since dinner." Dr Godber: "I am your new attendant, Madame. I shall be taking care of you for the second half of the journey." Lady Penelope: "Then... then what did you want with my suitcase?" Dr Godber: "I was merely ascertaining which passengers would be getting off at Anderbad. Hahahah, Alfred was very careless. He forgot to leave me a passenger list. Well, Madame et Monsieur, if there are no more questions, I shall bid you a good night!" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Now, where have I heard that voice before?" Lady Penelope: "Wait, I think Parker may be able to tell you." Lady Penelope: "Leave your monitor switched to telecall. Sir Jeremy is going to engage this new attendant in conversation. I want you to tell me if this is the man you saw leaving the archives in Paris." Parker: "Very good, m'lady." Dr Godber: "You rang, Monsieur?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Yes, that's right. I'd like to order my breakfast for the morning." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "I want, um, orange juice, cereal with plenty of sugar, some eggs and bacon and some strong coffee and cream. Is that quite clear?" Dr Godber: "Perfectly, Monsieur." Lady Penelope (to Parker): "Well?" Parker: "That's him, m'lady!" Lady Penelope: "Something is happening." Lady Penelope: "There must have been a power failure." Jeff Tracy: "Go ahead, Virgil." Virgil: "Father, Lady Penelope's train has had a breakdown in the middle of the Anderbad tunnel." Jeff Tracy: "Right, Virgil. Better stand by with the Monobrake." Tin-Tin: "But surely, Penelope would have radioed in if there had been any trouble?" Scott: "Tin-Tin, that Anderbad tunnel goes straight under the Alpine Belt. No radio waves can penetrate that far." [Cue violinic suspense theme.] Virgil: "Father, the train has now come into Anderbad, and Parker has confirmed that Lady Penelope and Sir Jeremy are not on it!" Tin-Tin: "Not on it!?" Jeff Tracy: "Did you find out where the break-down took place?" Jeff Tracy: "Right. You'd better go find them!" Lady Penelope: "Well, now that you've got us here, what do you intend to do with us?" Dr Godber: "First of all, welcome to my little subterranean headquarters. From here, I can control all the traffic in the Anderbad tunnel. My colleague has only to switch off the current and the Transcontinental Rocket is thrown out of action. A useful little trick, but a dangerous one, if used too often." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "I suppose this is how you kidnapped Professor Borender too." Dr Godber: "Precisely. When I saw that you suspected me, I was greatly tempted to hurl you both from the train, just as I disposed of that stupid attendant, Alfred. But you will be much more useful to me here." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Professor Borender! Thank heaven you're safe!" Professor Borender: "Sir Jeremy! How on earth did you find me?" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Borender, who is this blaggard?" Dr Godber: "Forgive me, Sir Jeremy. I am Doctor Godber. You no doubt have never heard of me, but I know much about you, and the fascinating discovery that you have made, along with Professor Borender." Professor Borender: "He was present at the Paris conference last week and knows about our experiments." Dr Godber: "The conversion of sea water into fuel - a brilliant achievement, gentlemen, and one which I intend to make use of." Professor Borender: "You will never get us to tell you the formula! Never!" Dr Godber: "With you, I have so far failed, Professor. But now that now I have captured the lovely Lady Penelope, I can make you and Sir Jeremy talk. All right, Roache, lower the ladder." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "You barbaric fiend!" Dr Godber: "Now, all we have to do is wait for the express to pass. I think it should be entering the tunnel in about nine minutes." Gordon: "Hey, there's another one." Virgil: "Yeah, there seems to be a lot of these ventilation shafts." Gordon: "You think we ought to take a look in these as well?" Virgil: "No, let's keep going." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Listen, Godber. Even if we told you our conversion formula, it would be useless to you without our equipment we have assembled in Paris." Dr Godber: "I shall worry about that later." Professor Borender: "Our experiments are still in the early stages. You heard me say this at the conference. One little mistake could pollute the waters of the sea!" Sir Jeremy Hodge: "And subject the whole of mankind to the most apalling consequences. You're asking us to risk too much, Godber." Dr Godber: "Enough! How long now until the express train enters the tunnel?" Roache: "Six minutes, Doctor." Alan: "Hello, father. Still no sign of Virgil and Gordon, or anyone." Jeff: "All right, Alan. Be patient." Alan: "Tell you what, father. I'll just get onto my hoverbike and mosey up that tunnel." Jeff: "No, Alan! You're needed where you are. We can't risk any more lives. The Express will be there in a couple of minutes." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Look here, Godber, you MUST stop this train! Cut the power and we'll talk the whole thing over." Dr Godber: "Certainly, Sir Jeremy. You have only to tell me your formula, and I shall willingly cut the power." Gordon: "Cut the engine! Can you hear anything?" Virgil: "Must be the express. It's funny how the echo brings it nearer..." Gordon: "Right, let's see what's around that bend." Dr Godber: "Soon, I shall have to turn out the lights, so that no-one sees us from the train. They may catch a glimpse of Lady Penelope, of course, but by then it will be too late to stop." Sir Jeremy Hodge : "For the last time, Godber, won't you listen to reason!? The fuel conversion formula would be useless to you. Cut this poor girl down and we'll explain the whole thing to you in our laboratory in Paris." Roache: "Two minutes." Professor Borender: "Godber! We implore you! Spare this young girl!" Dr Godber: "It's too late! My plan has failed. I shall have to leave Lady Penelope to her fate." Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Roache, stop the train! Stop the train!" Professor Borender: "That means we can't stop the train!" Dr Godber: "Borender! Get up, Borender. Get up, and come over here with your back to me. Move!" [Addressing Gordon.] "OK, I'll give you ten seconds to throw your gun down and come out with your hands up. Sir Jeremy Hodge: "Here she comes!" THE END