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First Great Oil War

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The origins of the 1st Great Oil War can be traced back to the insurgency against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s. The American government decided to help the noble freedom fighters the Mujahideen to resist Soviet occupation by providing them with $billions in weapons and training. Once the Mujahideen had liberated Afghanistan from the Soviet occupation these noble freedom fighters changed their names to the Taliban and began liberating the country from other evil influences such as music, literacy, sexy women and Buddhist statues.

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The origins of the 1st Great Oil War can be traced back to the insurgency against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s. The American government decided to help the noble freedom fighters the Mujahideen to resist Soviet occupation by providing them with $billions in weapons and training. Once the Mujahideen had liberated Afghanistan from the Soviet occupation these noble freedom fighters changed their names to the Taliban and began liberating the country from other evil influences such as music, literacy, sexy women and Buddhist statues. At first the notoriously puritanical Americans approved of this activity, being extremely fond of banning things themselves. The American government even invited the Taliban to visit America in April 1998 to discuss what kind of things they could ban together, such as the cruel oppression of the Afghan oilfields. Following this meeting relations with America chilled, due to the fact that the Taliban saw themselves as the only rightful liberators of Afghanistan and took exception to Bush's idea that they should let America help them liberate the Afghan oilfields.