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Irregarding Steve

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Of Ice and Men

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The Best Christmas Story Never

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"Trans Fats Banned In NYC, Fat Trannies Still OK"

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Steve and Roger in New York City

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2006-12-10

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Without warning, terrorists kill everyone except Francine and Klaus. Klaus manages to save her and reveals his true name to be Professor Max Hammer, where he takes her to a secret room where scientists give him a sleek car and fit him with a robotic body. After escaping Mexican vampires, Klaus drives the sports car into the ocean, where it transforms into a submarine and they discover The Lost City of Atlantis, and Francine suddenly turns herself into a large-breasted mermaid. Klaus and Francine move in to kiss, but it is revealed to be Klaus' daydream. Steve's high opinion of his dad's intelligence is shattered when he receives a failing grade on a presentation on fossils that Stan helped him with. As a result, he is convinced by Roger that they can manipulate Stan for whatever they want. After repeatedly mocking his stupidity, Steve is grounded by Stan for disrespect. Steve and Roger leave home for New York City, where they think their intelligence will allow them to make it big. Francine worries about Steve, but is mislead to believe that they are actually just hiding out in the tree house; Stan thinks that they should wait for Steve to come and apologize. However, during a thunderstorm, lightning hits the treehouse and destroys it, which causes everyone to think that Steve and Roger have died. In New York, Steve and Roger's dreams do not pan out. Steve tries to get a job writing sketch comedy, but is rejected by Jon Stewart. Roger claims to be an expert in trading stocks, but loses all their money on the New York Stock Exchange, which he had mistook for the Hollywood Stock Exchange. The two soon find themselves on the street, with Steve as a prostitute. Beauregard LaFontaine, who Roger and Steve had met earlier when they arrived in the city, hires Steve, not for sex, but to ridicule Steve's intelligence. When Beauregard insults Stan, Steve realizes that he had made a mistake about his father, attacks Beauregard, and uses his money for tickets back home for himself and Roger. Meanwhile, back at home, three weeks later after the thunder storm, the Smiths had become distraught over Steve and Roger's "death." Stan seems to be calm, but Francine and Hayley are still wrought in despair over their son and brother's death. They are so devastated that they are not strong enough to plan Steve's funeral. Francine shouts at Stan, screaming that Steve "died" all because Stan refused to let her go and get him in. Stan claims that he knows that. As the family begins to fall apart, Stan suggests they go on a vacation to get away from their problems and regain a sense of order. They decide to use the money they had been saving for Steve's college education to do so , and soon descend to selling nearly all of Steve's possessions for a vacation before he returns home alive. This time Steve doesn't care about his dad's use of the word "irregardless," using it himself to describe how good it is for him to be home. And, in return, the family have never been so happy in their entire lives to see Steve alive, not much about Roger . A subplot that parodies What's Eating Gilbert Grape involves a family of squirrels that live in Steve's tree house---a morbidly obese mother with two sons, one mentally impaired and the other a mature one who must take care of both of them. When the mother dies , the smarter squirrel realizes he must care for his brother alone. After the lightning destroys the treehouse , the two stow away on a bus, and ride far away from their troubles.

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Steve and Roger move to New York City.

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