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Shamisen

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Because the instrument has no frets it is difficult to play in tune. And because shamisen players usually have a couple of huge log drums and a temple gong banging away just a few feet behind them, chronic deafness complicates the player's attempt to play something resembling a melody with something vaguely resembling tonal accuracy.

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Because the instrument has no frets it is difficult to play in tune. And because shamisen players usually have a couple of huge log drums and a temple gong banging away just a few feet behind them, chronic deafness complicates the player's attempt to play something resembling a melody with something vaguely resembling tonal accuracy. Shamisen makers traditionally carve the narrow neck out of polystyrene and fashion the oblong soundbox out of plumwood, ebony, egg cartons, or fiberglass-reinforced soba noodles. Before 1945 the membrane covering the soundbox was made from the scalp of a bald-headed Zen master and the price of the instrument often depended on the status of the Zen master who provided the skin. However the rise of Hideki Tojo and imperialism ended the cruel and barbaric practice of skinning actual human beings to make these musical instruments. Modern shamisens are covered with the arse-skin of dissidents, a much better choice.