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Gruntipedia fun: Pope Yapyap I

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Pope Yapyap I was One of the Greasiest Covenant leaders. He is considered one of the holiest and most honored of all Grunts. In his early years of preaching, he carried around a staff that was shaped like a spoon which he used to beat people who weren't listening to his preachings, but the Elites, being mean and all, took it away and broke it in half, and thus broke his heart. Pope Yapyap I being the intelligent grunt he was, then glued his spoon to the wall when they left, but not without leaving a plasma grenade down their pants as they left. He would often stare at someone until he/she/it would soil he/she/it/whatever-self.

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Pope Yapyap I was One of the Greasiest Covenant leaders. He is considered one of the holiest and most honored of all Grunts. In his early years of preaching, he carried around a staff that was shaped like a spoon which he used to beat people who weren't listening to his preachings, but the Elites, being mean and all, took it away and broke it in half, and thus broke his heart. Pope Yapyap I being the intelligent grunt he was, then glued his spoon to the wall when they left, but not without leaving a plasma grenade down their pants as they left. He would often stare at someone until he/she/it would soil he/she/it/whatever-self. Soon to be replaced by Pope Dabdab I, he became jealous of the usurper and gave him a Yapyap Slap and became pope again. But this time the Elite, angered by Yapyap's treachery and such, tried to have him assassinated, but to no aveil. Why? He's Motha Flippin' Yapyap! He's the Grand Pope of the Grunts! You can't mess with such authority! YOU CANT! Even though Elites outrank grunts just because their Elites, but that's beside the point, because that's how it happened in my head. I can prove it, but first you have to inhale this paint can.