. . "Last son of a doomed planet"@en . . "Superman"@en . . "Disturbingly frequently"@en . "So blue you could just fall right into them"@en . "Superman was, is, and will always be the second biggest commie on Earth-X. We say second biggest them Yanks can't keep keep up with the Commietude of some Russians. Superman can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Or thats what they tell you. The truth is that Kal El is a Communist. Infact, Kal-El doesn't exist, but you'll learn about that later. We're here to tell you the truth."@en . . . "Kryptonite Commie"@en . . "Spit-curled black"@en . . "Male"@en . . . . . . "Superman (Earth-X)"@en . . "Superman was, is, and will always be the second biggest commie on Earth-X. We say second biggest them Yanks can't keep keep up with the Commietude of some Russians. Superman can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. The story goes that Superman was born on the planet Krypton. His parents neglected \"Kal-El\" and one day Kal's father \"Jor-El\" got drunk and stuck his son in an air-tight cannister and rocketed him to Earth-X. Kal landed on the outskirts of a small village named Smallville...Ironic? Yeah, probably... Anyway, two farmers, Ma and Pa Kent found the cannister on the side of the road and, thinking it was some XXX, they stopped their Model T and grabbed the cannister. When they realized it wasn't alcohol, Pa Kent almost threw the cannister away untill Ma Kent saw the nearly dead baby Kal-El. The starving, suffocating Baby of Krypton. They took the child into their home and raised him as Clark Kent. As he grew up he realized he had superpowers and became Superman, Avenger of the Oppressed. Or thats what they tell you. The truth is that Kal El is a Communist. Infact, Kal-El doesn't exist, but you'll learn about that later. We're here to tell you the truth. You think the Communist party is all but dead? This is just the beginning."@en . .