. "A cold, grey Christmas Eve at Manchester CID, A-Division, 1973. A few limp strips of Christmas tinsel hung from the concrete pillars of the incident room. A tatty, plastic fairy in mini-skirt and suspenders \u00ADdangled \u00ADobscenely from DCI Gene Hunt\u2019s office door. DI Sam Tyler sat at his desk, \u00ADignoring the report he was supposed to be writing and staring, instead, through the window, out at the \u00ADominous black clouds that were forming over the city skyline. He was thinking of the future\u2014the world 30 years from now from which he had been so suddenly hurled\u2014of the home he would never see again. Would they have a white Christmas in 2006, he thought. Here in \u201973, there was nothing but rain. Would the snow fall when everyone settled down for the big film on TV? What were they watching\u2014Toy Story? The Lord Of The Rings? \u2018I take it you\u2019ll be like me, getting plastered in front of The Great Escape on Christmas Day, \u00ADChristopher,\u2019 announced DC Ray Carling, lounging at his desk. \u2018I prefer The Wizard of Oz,\u2019 DC Chris Skelton replied, fiddling with a portable transistor radio. Ray looked at him evenly: \u2018That\u2019s for pooftahs, Chris.\u2019 \u2018I know,\u2019 Chris added quickly. \u2018It\u2019s rubbish. It don\u2019t make me cry or nuthin\u2019.\u2019 But Ray was incredulous: \u2018You \u00ADprefer to watch dancing bloody \u00ADmidgets rather than Steve McQueen getting chased by Germans?\u2019 \u2018I just watch it for a laff. If one of them munchkins walked in here right now I\u2019d kick his balls off. Obviously, Steve McQueen\u2019s boss and all that.\u2019 Trying to look macho, he fiddled with his radio until 10CC\u2019s Rubber \u00ADBullets emerged from the static. \u2018Turn it up!\u2019 called out Ray. \u2018Turn it down!\u2019 frowned Annie Cartwright. \u2018Some of us have work to get done before Christmas!\u2019 \u2018A bit more respect from you, jugs,\u2019 Ray came back at her, speaking with the fag still between his lips. Sam felt a flush of anger, a sudden urge to intervene and defend Annie\u2019s honour. But she was used to being treated like this. She could handle it. He watched her shrug off Ray\u2019s remark and get back to her work. Lost now in a world of his own, Chris was up and playing an imaginary air guitar, singing his heart out into an imaginary mic. \u2018I can see one slug in here who looks all too real to me,\u2019 intoned Gene Hunt, looming suddenly out from his office door like a bad-\u00ADtempered \u00ADgrizzly emerging from its cave. Chris, madly windmilling at his air guitar, froze, then guiltily killed the music. Gene glowered and said: \u2018Right. Now perhaps we can all start acting like coppers for a minute. Have a gander at this, children.\u2019 He threw a Christmas card down on a desk. Sam, Annie, Chris and Ray all peered at the snowman on the front of the card; somebody had turned its smiling face into a \u00ADscreaming visage of agony; that same somebody had also added the crude image of a butcher\u2019s knife \u00ADjutting from the snowman\u2019s chest, complete with fountains of blood. \u2018What\u2019s this, guv?\u2019 asked Ray. \u2018New range of cards at Woolworth\u2019s, is it?\u2019 Sam picked up the card and read out the message inside: \u2018\u201CHo ho ho, coppers, you\u2019ll never catch me, you are too \u2026 stuped?\u201D I assume he means \u201Cstupid\u201D. \u201CGo to the Deluxe IM Hotel and see if you can stop me doing a MURDER next week, on NEW YEAR\u2019S EVE!!! You won\u2019t stop me, ha ha ha, and I will be laffing to see you try, you wazzocks!! Signed\u2014The Scorpion.\u201D \u2019 Sam and Annie exchanged a look. Ray smirked. Gene scowled. Only young Chris seemed disturbed by the message, and said in a worried voice: \u2018It\u2019s just a joke, right?\u2019 \u2018This fella\u2019s English teacher wouldn\u2019t think so, he writes like a four-year-old,\u201D said Sam, \u00ADdisdainfully passing the card back to Gene. \u2018Are we taking it seriously, guv?\u2019 \u2018Yes and no,\u2019 said Gene. \u2018Personally, it sounds like bollocks. However, as an officer of the law I\u2019m obliged to pay heed to any threat to commit murder, however dopey that threat might sound.\u2019 \u2018The Deluxe Imperial Hotel,\u2019 said Ray. \u2018They\u2019re holding a big beauty contest there on New Year\u2019s Eve.\u2019 \u2018How do you know, Ray?\u2019 Sam asked. \u2018I like to keep abreast of these things, boss,\u2019 smirked Ray. Chris, at least, was amused. \u2018Ray\u2019s right,\u2019 put in Gene. \u2018The Deluxe will be crawling with skirt. If we\u2019ve got a nutter on the loose any one of them birds could be his \u00ADtarget. Right, Sammy boy, when the day comes round, you and me will have the onerous duty of checking out the beauty contest for signs of a \u00ADknife-wielding maniac.\u2019 \u2018Can I come an\u2019 all, guv?\u2019 Ray and Chris asked in unison. \u2018Nope,\u2019 growled Gene. \u2018Don\u2019t want you two \u2018erberts frightening the horses. But WPC Bristols can come along \u2014 we might well need the \u00ADfeminine touch on this case.\u2019 \u2018Are you referring to me, guv?\u2019 asked Annie. \u2018Well, unless our esteemed colleague Sam Tyler\u2019s hiding a few \u00ADsurprises under his shirt, then you\u2019re the only one in the department with a set of melons.' One week later . . . Jangling his car keys, Gene Hunt was prowling around the room, \u00ADeyeing his officers menacingly. \u2018Let\u2019s get moving\u2014I want this \u00ADnonsense wrapped up ASAP\u2014I do not want it impinging on my New Year\u2019s Eve drinky-poos.\u2019 At that, he swept out. Sam tipped Annie a wink and together they \u00ADhurried after him. Their imaginations full of images of bright-eyed buxom beauties in swimming costumes, Chris and Ray sadly, silently, enviously, watched them go. \u2018Being a copper . . . \u2019 muttered Chris, \u2018. . . sometimes, it can\u2019t half be cruel.\u2019 Minutes later, with a wild scream of tyres on Tarmac, Hunt\u2019s Cortina lurched to a halt outside the Deluxe Imperial Hotel. Gene, Sam and Annie emerged and looked up at the huge sign \u00ADemblazoned in silver letters above the door: \u2018TONIGHT! Joey Lester \u00ADPromotions presents . . . the grand finale of the North\u2019s glamorous beauty pageant! Which one of our gorgeous gals will be crowned MISS MANCHESTER & \u00ADSALFORD EAST, 1973\u2019 \u2018Not quite the Oscars,\u2019 said Sam. \u2018What are we looking for here, guv? This so-called \u201CScorpion\u201D, he\u2019s hardly likely to show himself.\u2019 \u2018He wants us here for a reason,\u2019 said Gene. \u2018He\u2019s playing some sort of a game with us.\u2019 \u2018Makes him feel important,\u2019 put in Annie. \u2018That\u2019s how the minds of \u00ADcertain psychopaths work, guv. It\u2019s not enough just to kill\u2014they\u2019ve got to prove themselves, out-wit the police, boost their ego.\u2019 \u2018There\u2019s only room in this city for one boosted ego, playmates, and it ain\u2019t no bloody scorpion\u2019s,\u2019 Gene declared. His camel hair coat \u00ADbillowing dramatically behind him, he led the way inside. The large \u00ADfunction room where the beauty contest finals were to be held was buzzing with activity. The last dress rehearsal was being carried out prior to the real thing. Up on a stage, girls in skimpy outfits were teetering to and fro to the strains of Eye Level playing from a speaker system; the girls smiled, shimmied, sparkled this way and that on their tiny, dainty feet, while a sweating fat man in a luxurious silk shirt shouted instructions to them. \u2018Not so fast, Joan! Minnie, keep in line with the others! Ingrid, it\u2019s right hand on right hip! That\u2019s it, girls! Laaaaah-vley! You\u2019re all looking laaaah-vley!\u2019 Gene tapped the man heavily on the shoulder. \u2018You in charge round here, porky?\u2019 The man turned and gave Gene a \u00ADconfrontational look. He was all jowls and bald head and combed-over wisps of hair. Sam tried to ignore the ghastly black mole on the man\u2019s nose, the size and colour of a huge sultana. \u2018What\u2019s it to you?\u2019 the man said. Gene thrust his CID badge into the man\u2019s face. The man sighed and nodded: \u2018I\u2019m Joey Lester, the organiser. And if this about them parking tickets, it\u2019s like I told the fella on the phone \u2026\u2019 \u2018It\u2019s not about parking tickets,\u2019 said Gene. \u2018I\u2019m DCI Hunt, this here\u2019s DI Tyler and a bird from the office, Annie something-or-other. We\u2019ve had an anonymous note from a nutcase calling himself The Scorpion. Name mean anything to you?\u2019 Joey shrugged and shook his head. \u2018The Scorpion\u2019s threatening to \u2026\u2019 Sam put in, then lowered his voice as he realised the girls on the stage had all stopped and were staring at them. \u2018\u2026 threatening to carry out some act of violence here tonight.\u2019 \u2018Act of violence?\u2019 gasped Joey. \u2018But it\u2019s the grand finale of Miss Manchester & Salford East!\u2019 Then his eyes narrowed knowingly. \u2018Ahh, I understand \u2026\u2019 \u2018What do you understand?\u2019 asked Sam. Joey smoothed down his expensive silk shirt and said: \u2018You don\u2019t climb as high up the ladder of success as Mr Joey Lester without stepping on a few toes en route. Like any \u00ADsuccessful entrepreneur I\u2019ve made a few enemies on my rise to the top. This \u201CScorpion\u201D\u2014I\u2019ll bet you five of my best silk shirts it\u2019s just some disgruntled rival in the promotions business, out to scupper this \u00ADglorious evening of high-class \u00ADglamour. Ignore him. We\u2019ll have security on the doors tonight\u2014any undesirables try and turn up, they won\u2019t get far.\u2019 \u2018And what if this \u201Cundesirable\u201D is already in the hotel?\u2019 said Gene. \u2018If the Scorpion means what he says, one or more of your girls is gonna wind up dead.\u2019 This last sentence coincided with Eye Level being suddenly switched off. All the girls heard his words, and as one they reacted in terror, screaming and flapping about the stage. Joey Lester raised his hands and called to them: \u2018It\u2019s all right, my little nymphs, keep your knickers on! Nobody\u2019s murdering no one, it\u2019s just a spot of hoo-ha with the rozzers. Minnie! Minnie, don\u2019t upset yourself, luv!\u2019 But blonde-haired, heftily-\u00ADbosomed Minnie ignored him. In a fit of terror she staggered wildly towards the edge of the stage and launched \u00ADherself off it. With the reflexes of a jungle cat, Gene caught her. Minnie flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his manly chest. \u2018Don\u2019t let any bad man hurt us, Mr Constable!\u2019 she blubbered. Lifting her face to his, she implored him with tears in her eyes: \u2018Save us. \u00ADProtect us!\u2019 And now she became transfixed, staring into Gene\u2019s eyes, her lips wet and expectant, her voice breathy and alluring. \u2018You\u2019re so big \u2026 so strong \u2026 like a \u2026 like a Greek god or summut.\u2019 \u2018I eat me greens,\u2019 Gene intoned back, and he put Minnie down. \u2018Don\u2019t fret, luv. And this goes for all of you. There\u2019s a thin blue line stands between you birds and the forces of darkness\u2014and that thin blue line is me, the Gene jeanie.\u2019 \u2018And me,\u2019 put in Sam indignantly. \u2018And Annie.\u2019 \u2018Whatever,\u2019 growled Gene. All eyes were on him, and he knew it. The girls had all returned to their hotel rooms to prepare for the big night with instructions to lock their doors and be vigilant. In the function room, chairs were being laid out for the expected crowd as, up in the gantry above the stage, technicians made last-minute \u00ADadjustments to the lights. Joey Lester tipped the bouncers on the door a few quid to be on the extra look out for troublemakers, and with that he lumbered off to change his shirt and freshen up. \u2018Don\u2019t you worry about this\u00AD\u00AD \u00AD\u201CScorpion\u201D nonsense,\u2019 he said over his shoulder to Gene, Sam and Annie as he waddled off. \u2018My lads at the gate\u2019ll keep us all safe \u2019n sound in \u2019ere tonight.\u2019 \u2018He\u2019s probably right\u2019 said Gene to Sam and Annie. \u2018That note from the Scorpion was no more than a \u00ADmalicious prank \u2026 a prank that threatens my evening\u2019s revels. \u2018I have no intention of starting the New Year with an empty \u00ADbladder and unpunished kidneys. Let\u2019s join Chris and Ray down the Railway Arms.\u2019 \u2018Hold up, guv,\u2019 said Sam. \u2018It might well all be a prank, but don\u2019t you think we should have a look around the place first, just in case?\u2019 Gene thought about it for a moment, then said: \u2018Nah.\u2019 \u2018I think we should stay too, guv,\u2019 put in Annie. \u2018I think there might be more to this Scorpion business than just a prank. I mean, why would a business rival try to ruin the beauty contest by bringing us here and putting the whole place on alert? It don\u2019t make no sense, guv.\u2019 \u2018And it don\u2019t make no sense getting birds into CID and promoting them above the level of tea-girl,\u2019 Gene came back at her. \u2018When you make DCI, toots, that\u2019s when I\u2019ll take \u00ADlectures from you on how to police a city. But until that day ...\u2019 He got no further. His words were cut short by a terrible, blood-\u00ADcurdling scream. \u2018One of the girls!\u2019 hissed Sam, and at once he broke into a run, \u00ADpounding away in the direction of the scream. Annie raced along with him; Gene came lumbering none-too-nimbly along behind. They found themselves in one door-lined corridor after another. Sam looked one way, Annie the other. They had lost their bearings. \u2018This way?\u2019 Sam asked. \u2018That way?\u2019 Annie shot back. \u2018My way,\u2019 panted Gene heavily, leading them round a corner. At once they saw the door to room 237 standing ajar, a great gash cut roughly into the wood. Sam dashed ahead, pushed the door open, and looked in. On the floor at his feet, face down and unmoving, lay the body of one of the pageant girls, all dressed up in her glamorous pink costume. \u2018So, the Scorpion does mean business,\u2019 muttered Gene through clenched teeth. He raised his head and looked fiercely about him. \u2018But so does Hunt \u2026 So does Hunt!\u2019 Groggily, Ingrid raised her face from the floor. Annie pushed past Sam and gently helped her to sit up. \u2018Am I dead?\u2019 she stammered. \u2018Only from the neck up,\u2019 barked Gene. \u2018What happened?\u2019 Looking frightened and confused, Ingrid said: \u2018Somebody knocked \u2026 I opened the door and \u2026 there was a man\u2014in a white shirt\u2014with a knife!\u2019 \u2018The Scorpion \u2026\u2019 muttered Sam. \u2018He tried to kill me! But I slammed the door \u2026 and then I must have fainted.\u2019 \u2018He can\u2019t have gotten far!\u2019 said Sam. \u2018You girls stay here,\u2019 ordered Gene. \u2018This is bloke business. Tyler\u2014let\u2019s roll.\u2019 He thrust his hand deep under his camel hair coat; in the next moment, he was brandishing six inches of darkly glittering steel. It was his trusty Magnum, loosed and eager for action. \u2018Put that bloody Howitzer away!\u2019 Sam yelled at him as they ran together along the corridor. \u2018This isn\u2019t Dodge City!\u2019 \u2018Daddy needs his baby,\u2019 Gene snarled back, and shoving past Sam he powered ahead. The corridor came to a dead end; the only way out\u2014the only way the Scorpion could have made his escape\u2014was through the fire escape door in the far wall. Gene slammed into it like a charging bull elephant; the door exploded off its hinges. Sam sprinted after him. They found themselves in a courtyard round the back of the hotel. Something on the ground was burning. Gene stomped on it, extinguishing the flames. Sam rushed around the courtyard, but there was no sign of anyone. \u2018We\u2019ve lost him,\u2019 Sam panted. \u2018But we\u2019ve got his laundry,\u2019 said Gene, and he held up the charred remains of a white silk shirt. \u2018I could teach this Scorpion a thing or two about destroying evidence.\u2019 \u2018That shirt looks familiar,\u2019 said Sam. He fingered an unburned sleeve, feeling the quality. \u2018Joey Lester \u2014 he wears expensive silk shirts just like this one.\u201D \u2018He does indeed,\u2019 said Gene, slipping the Magnum back into its body holster. He glowered grimly. I\u2019ll ask him for the name of his tailor. In fact, I think I\u2019ll ask him right now.\u2019 CRASH! A hotel room door flew open violently. \u2018WHAT THE..!\u2019\u2014Joey Lester, dressed only in his pants and vest, span round in terror. \u2018Room service. We\u2019ve got your dry cleaning.\u2019 Gene Hunt strode through the door and threw the burnt remains of the shirt into Joey\u2019s face. \u2018Wha \u2026 what the hell do you think you\u2019re doing?\u2019 stammered Joey, his jowls quivering with fear. \u2018Looking for a killer,\u2019 Gene said, and pushed Joey onto the bed. \u2018Easy, guv,\u2019 Sam urged. \u2018Let\u2019s not let things get out of hand.\u2019 \u2018Why not, Tyler? I like things getting out of hand. Right, Joey, explain why we\u2019ve just found one of your posey shirts burning in a courtyard out back?\u2019 Joey held the tatters of silk in his hands and stared at them stupidly: \u2018I \u2026 I don\u2019t understand \u2026\u2019 \u2018Then let me aid your concentration.\u2019 Gene reached out and grasped the huge, sultana-shaped mole on Joey Lester\u2019s nose, squeezing it hard between his thumb and forefinger. Joey cried out and frantically flapped his hands. \u2018Not the mole!\u2019 \u2018Start talking, Lester, or Dr Hunt commences plastic surgery! That\u2019s your shirt, right?\u2019 \u2018Yes! It\u2019s my shirt!\u2019 \u2018The Scorpion just had a pop at one of your sex kittens, then legged it. Why was he wearing one of your shirts?\u2019 \u2018I don\u2019t know!\u2019 Gene gave the mole a sharp twist. \u2018No need for anaesthetic, Dr Tyler, we\u2019ll just get on with it the old-\u00ADfashioned way. On the count of three \u2026\u2019 \u2018I swear, I swear, I don\u2019t know anything about it!\u2019 \u2018One \u2026\u2019 \u2018I\u2019ll have your badge for this, Hunt!\u2019 \u2018Two \u2026\u2019 \u2018I got friends in very high places!\u2019 \u2018Three!\u2019 \u2018OK, OK, I\u2019ll tell you! But for the love of God, let go of the mole!\u2019 Joey sprawled on the bed as Gene shoved him back, his fat belly \u00ADwobbling beneath his vest. \u2018Get talking,\u2019 grunted Gene. Nursing his battered mole, Joey looked up at Gene and Sam wretchedly and said: \u2018Listen. What I\u2019m about to tell you is strictly between us blokes, right? No need for Mrs Lester to get wind of it.\u2019 \u2018I\u2019m ahead of you, Lester, but get on with it anyway.\u2019 \u2018You don\u2019t climb as high up the ladder of success as Mr Joey Lester without encountering a spot of temptation along the way. A fella in my position, he can do things for a girl \u2026 and there\u2019s things a girl can do for him.\u2019 \u2018Stop talking about yourself in the third person, Joey. Gene Hunt, he doesn\u2019t like it,\u2019 said Gene. \u2018So\u2014you\u2019ve been sowing wild oats. I\u2019m amazed your ugly conk doesn\u2019t put them all off.\u2019 \u2018What a thing to say,\u2019 said Joey, genuinely hurt. \u2018I help the girls and the girls help me, and Mrs Lester lives in a big house and spends a hundred quid a week on clothes. And so long as everything stays discreet and low key everybody\u2019s happy, there\u2019s no harm done, and it\u2019s smiley faces all round.\u2019 \u2018But not tonight.\u2019 \u2018Look,\u2019 said Joey, desperation in his face, \u2018I admit, I may have gotten a little closer to one of them girls than perhaps a married man should.\u2019 \u2018Which one of them girls?\u2019 \u2018Well \u2026 one or two of them. Three or four, you know. Well, the whole lot of \u2019em\u2019 since you\u2019re insisting. It\u2019s because of my business prowess, you see. I\u2019m a self-made man, and power is a great aphrodisiac.\u2019 \u2018That and your Burt Reynolds physique,\u2019 said Gene, jabbing a \u00ADfinger into Joey\u2019s flab. \u2018So let me guess what you\u2019re saying: running round all them birds, Manchester\u2019s answer to Warren Bloody Beatty, you might well have left behind a shirt or two without realising it.\u2019 \u2018Any one of my business rivals could have gotten hold of it!\u2019 Joey insisted. \u2018They could have paid one of the girls for it and cooked up this whole \u201CScorpion\u201D thing to frame me! You don\u2019t climb as high up the ladder of success as Mr Joey Lester without having business rivals try and frame you! Ooh, there\u2019s some unscrupulous b*****ds in this world, you mark my words.\u2019 \u2018Never met any meself,\u2019 said Gene, and he turned to Sam. \u2018What do you think, Tyler? Is Joey our man?\u2019 \u2018I think,\u2019 said Sam, \u2018that we need to talk, guv. In private.\u2019 Gene nodded, then turned back to Joey and levelled a finger at him: \u2018You leave this hotel, Lester, and you\u2019re nicked. Got that?\u2019 \u2018I\u2019m not going anywhere,\u2019 said Joey, his confidence starting to return. \u2018Now\u2014if you gentlemen would allow me to carry on getting dressed \u2026\u2019 He glanced at his watch and gasped. \u2018The crowds will be pouring in! They\u2019ll want to see Miss Manchester & Salford East crowned, and by gum Mr Joey Lester will not disappoint them! I can\u2019t muck about with you lads any longer. Out! Out!\u2019 Sam and Gene stood in a corridor, the sound of the arriving crowds \u00ADfiltering through to them from the big function room. \u2018Joey\u2019s not the Scorpion,\u2019 Sam said. \u2018I reckon he\u2019s not too far off the mark with what he says \u2014 this is all a put-up job to discredit him in some way.\u2019 Gene thought for a moment, then nodded: \u2018Whoever attacked Ingrid certainly went out of his way to point the finger of suspicion at Joey. It was a pretty pathetic attempt at burning that shirt. We were meant to find it.\u2019 \u2018It looks to me, guv, like whoever the Scorpion is he\u2019s in cahoots with one of the girls. It\u2019s like Joey \u00ADhimself said, he\u2019s left his shirt with one of them after a spot of hanky-panky\u2019\u2014and for a moment, both Sam and Gene grimaced at the thought of Joey Lester\u2019s nasal mole wobbling during the throes of passion\u2014\u2018and she\u2019s passed it on to somebody who\u2019s got it in for him.\u2019 The Scorpion strikes: Will he be caught before he murders again? \u2018If you\u2019re right, Sam, then the Scorpion\u2019s playing us two like a couple of mugs.\u2019 \u2018Us three, guv,\u2019 Sam corrected him. \u2018Annie\u2019s here too, remember?\u2019 Gene fixed Sam with a hard look: \u2018Any excuse for you to suck up to that dopey bird \u2026\u2019 \u2018She\u2019s as much part of the team as any of us, guv.\u2019 \u2018Don\u2019t start all that women\u2019s lib cobblers with me, Tyler. Now is not the time. We\u2019ve got a would-be killer on the loose\u2014and worse than that, a would-be killer who\u2019s in grave danger of making me look like a right chump for not nicking him\u2014and to top it all there\u2019s only four hours left of the night and I am deeply, catastrophically sober!\u2019 They went to the function room and found it heaving with people. Joey Lester appeared, as groomed as ever; he shot Gene a sour look, then turned on his best oily smile and started shmoozing with various local dignitaries who were there to act as judges. He was damned if he was going to let anyone or anything ruin the big night. \u2018The Scorpion could be any one them \u2026\u2019 mused Gene, peering intently at the crowds. \u2018It\u2019s a needle in a bloody haystack, Sammy boy. But I\u2019ll find him \u2026 I\u2019ll find him \u2026\u2019 And his gaze bore into the crowd like a laser beam. \u2018Excuse me a few minutes, guv,\u2019 said Sam. \u2018I\u2019m going to find Annie, see how Ingrid is.\u2019 But Gene said nothing; his entire attention was focused on the \u00ADpeople pouring into the function room, as if, by sheer force of the Gene Hunt will, he would pick out which one was the Scorpion right then and there. Sam left him and headed back. But before he reached Ingrid\u2019s room he was stopped by Minnie, one of the would-be Miss Manchester & Salford East girls. She was dressed alluringly in almost nothing at all. \u2018Oh, thank heavens it\u2019s you!\u2019 she breathed, and fluttered delicately into Sam\u2019s arms. \u2018I\u2019ve been so frightened! Oh, make the nasty things go away!\u2019 \u2018We\u2019re doing our best,\u2019 said Sam, gently trying to disentangle himself from her embraces but unable to get free. \u201CNow, I really do have to get on and \u2026\u2019 \u2018Oh, don\u2019t leave me!\u2019 Sam found himself being manoeuvred through a doorway and into Minnie\u2019s hotel room. The next thing he knew she had shut the door and was standing with her back to it. Sam laughed nervously. \u2018I really do have things to do,\u2019 he said. \u2018So do I \u2026 Mr Policeman.\u2019 \u2018Please, Minnie, let me out.\u2019 She made eyes at him, chewed her bottom lip coyly, gave a little seductive wiggle\u2014and then, glancing past Sam, she saw something. Her face changed. Her eyes went round. Her mouth fell open. She seemed about to scream. Sam span round, tensed for \u00ADviolence, ready to spring at the Scorpion with both fists\u2014and saw nothing but an empty hotel room. \u2018Minnie? What was it? What did you \u2026\u2019 Something smashed sickeningly against the back of Sam\u2019s skull, sending him sprawling on the floor. Dazed, his head spinning, he tried to drag himself up. \u2018Oh no you don\u2019t!\u2019 snarled Minnie, and she struck him again. Sam went down. For some reason he could smell the sharp stink of petrol. He peered up and saw that Minnie was splashing liquid all over the room from a metal canister\u2014a metal canister dented twice from its impacts with Sam\u2019s skull. \u2018You\u2019ve let him go, you b*****d!\u2019 she hissed as she doused the floor and bed. \u2018You were supposed to arrest him! You were supposed to lock him up for being a psycho! And instead you\u2019ve let him go!\u2019 Sam painfully dragged himself across the floor away from the reeking petrol. Minnie emptied out the last drops and then hurled the \u00ADcanister at him. \u2018One of the boys, is he?\u2019 she howled, her face twisted with rage. \u2018Joey and your DCI, buddies in the Masons, is that it? Arrest Joey Lester? You must be kidding!\u2019 Sam tried to speak, but his head was pounding, his brain reeling. \u2018That b*****d promised me the moon on a flamin\u2019 stick!\u2019 Minnie shrieked. \u2018He were gonna leave his \u2019orrible wife for me! He were gonna buy me fur coats and pearls and a ruddy great diamond the size of a baby\u2019s head! He were gonna make me Miss Manchester & Salford East 1973! All I had to do was, you know, do it with him\u2014with the lights on\u2014though he said it were OK if I closed me eyes. So I did it with him like he wanted. Five times! Five \u2018orrible times! \u201CYou\u2019ll be crowned Miss Manchester,\u201D he said! He promised! \u201CLeave it to me,\u201D he said! \u201CYou\u2019re special, Minnie\u2014you\u2019re the only one for m \u2014there ain\u2019t no other\u2014I\u2019ll give you everything, luv, everything!\u201D And then you know what I found out? Eh? You know what I found out?! That\u2019s what he says to ALL the b*****ding girls!\u2019 Minnie was insane with fury. Her make-up was running down her contorted face making her look like some sort of monster from a nightmare. \u2018The fat stinking pig!\u2019 she snarled. \u2018He must think I\u2019m nowt but a wazzock. Well \u2026 we\u2019ll see, eh? We\u2019ll see!\u2019 Wazzock \u2026 It was the same word that had been used in the Scorpion\u2019s card to CID, the one where he\u2014or rather she\u2014had taunted the police to come here and try and stop him \u2026 her. Minnie\u2019s the Scorpion! Sam realised, looking up at her. She got us here to frame Joey Lester out of revenge. But her plan\u2019s failed. Sam shook his head and tried to focus: \u2018Minnie \u2026 listen to me \u2026 setting fire to yourself isn\u2019t going to solve anything!\u2019 Minnie gave him a look, laughed bitterly, and said: \u2018Well, I know that. But it\u2019s not me who\u2019s gonna burn!\u2019 She produced a large cigarette lighter, cast from solid silver. \u2018It\u2019s Joey\u2019s,\u2019 she said. \u2018Another memento, like that shirt. Another piece of evidence to point to him as a killer. A cop killer. Not even the ruddy Masons will get him off the hook for this one! \u2018Minnie, think what you\u2019re doing! Sam called to her, struggling to get to his feet. The room was stinking of petrol\u2014it was everywhere. \u2018Think what you\u2019re doing!\u2019 Minnie smiled coldly. \u2018Oh, I\u2019m thinking all right,\u2019 she said, and clicked the lighter. The petrol ignited with a whoosh. A blast of blistering heat slammed into Sam. He felt his eyebrows singe. Desperately, he crawled away from the roaring flames engulfing the room. Minnie shrieked from the doorway: \u2018I saw it all! Joey Lester is the one going down for this! I saw everything, your honour! Ha ha ha!\u2019 And with that she slammed the door and was gone, leaving Sam to his fate. Hell hath no fury like a Minnie scorned. The room was an inferno. If he was quick, Sam figured he might just make it through that great wall of flame to the door. But even as he nerved himself to go for it, the flames rippled across the ceiling and brought down great chunks of burning timber that crashed against the door, hopelessly blocking it. Why the hell haven\u2019t the smoke alarms gone off? Sam though frantically. What\u2019s happened to the sprinkler system?! Then he remembered this was 1973. Health & Safety meant a fire bucket and a first-aid kit. He would be burnt to a cinder before the fire brigade were even called. Sam found himself gasping and choking for breath. The burning room was an arsenal of toxins and poisons: the bed sheets, the carpets, the wallpaper, the curtains\u2014they were all made from fabrics and flammable materials long since banned and outlawed in his own time. The air was filling up with carbon monoxide, cyanide, and God alone knew what other killers. If the fire didn\u2019t get him, the poisoned smoke certainly would. Sam scrambled into the tiny en suite bathroom and slammed the door. At once, he saw thick, noxious smoke billowing in underneath it. He covered his face with a wet towel, praying it would filter out the worst of the toxins. But what\u2019s the point, he thought. There\u2019s no way out of here. The bathroom door began to blister from the heat, then to smoke, then to smoulder. It\u2019s over. I\u2019m going to die in here. Suddenly, there was a shattering explosion from the wall beside Sam, followed moments later by another one. Smashed tiles showered across him as he flung himself to the floor. There came a third impact, a fourth, and more. Something was blasting its way through the wall from outside, creating a set of perforations. There was a pause, and then a fist crashed powerfully through the brickwork. The wall collapsed; Gene Hunt peered in through the rubble and dust, the Magnum hot and smoking in his hand. \u2018I was right,\u2019 he growled, holstering the gun. \u2018Where there\u2019s a fix, there\u2019s always a Sam Tyler.\u2019 Sam scrambled through the shot-out wall, coughing and choking. Smoke was pouring into the corridor; the fire was spreading, racing out from Minnie\u2019s room and fingering its way through the hotel. \u2018We need to get everyone out!\u2019 spluttered Sam. \u2018Minnie\u2014she\u2019s the one who did it\u2014she\u2019s the Scorpion! She\u2019s trying to frame Joey Lester out of revenge and \u2026\u2019 \u2018Save it for the pub, Sammy boy\u2014this ain\u2019t quite the time and the place.\u2019 The door of Minnie\u2019s room collapsed in a blaze of sparks as huge tongues of fire gushed out. People were racing into the corridor\u2014girls mainly, the screaming, howling would-be Miss Manchesters all togged up in their finery. Disdainful of fire and danger, Gene strode manfully amid them, ordering them all to get their dopey behinds out, out, out! As the last of the beauty queens came shrieking by, Sam recognised her as Ingrid, the girl they had left with his colleague Annie. Sam caught her as she dashed by. \u2018Ingrid! Where\u2019s Annie?!\u2019 \u2018Don\u2019t know!\u2019 Ingrid cried back at him. \u2018She left me and went off somewhere\u2014I don\u2019t know where!\u2019 She broke free and went screaming off with the other girls. Sam looked back along the corridor into what was now a blazing, blistering hell. Gene loomed over him: \u2018Annie\u2019s got her head screwed on all right, Sam\u2014she won\u2019t be back there\u2014she\u2019ll have gotten herself clear. And so should we!\u2019 Sam hesitated, staring into the fire, his imagination torturing him with horrible images of Annie amid the flames\u2014but then a powerful hand grasped his shoulder, turned him roughly around, and thrust him away along the corridor. They raced into the large function room. It was already filling with smoke. The assembled crowd was panicking, screaming, yelling, fighting to get out. Christmas decorations were being trampled in the crush; as Sam watched, the huge Christmas tree was barged over by the crowd, crashing to the floor, its glass baubles shattering, its fairy lights sparking and exploding. A huge banner that read MISS MANCHESTER & SALFORD EAST 1973 hung limp, ripped and smouldering\u2014and beneath it, standing alone on the stage that should have been the catwalk for the most beautiful crumpet in the North to strut their stuff was Joey Lester, all dressed up in his best tuxedo, his fleshy face aghast, looking wretchedly at the destruction and chaos that was his big night. \u2018Ruined \u2026\u2019 he sobbed, raising his hands imploringly to the uncaring forces of Fate. \u2018All ruined!\u2019 Fire licked at the torn banner and it fell from the wall, bursting suddenly into flames. As the last of the crowds escaped from the hotel, Sam suddenly saw a figure striding bravely back into the function room. \u2018Annie!\u2019 he cried out, and raced towards her. They embraced. \u2018Oh Annie, I thought I\u2019d lost you!\u2019 \u2018I was doing my best at crowd-control,\u2019 Annie said, hugging him. \u2018It was all a bit messy but I\u2019ve managed to get everyone out. Except for us and Gene and Joey Lester.\u2019 \u2018Guv!\u2019 Sam shouted across at Gene. \u2018Grab Lester and let\u2019s get out of here!\u2019 \u2018Lester ain\u2019t going nowhere!\u2019 Out of the billowing smoke appeared a terrifying figure\u2014it was Minnie, her eyes blazing as fiercely as the inferno that now raged all around the function room. In her hand she brandished a huge butcher\u2019s knife, and around her body she had draped the silken Miss \u2018Manchester 1973\u2019 winner\u2019s sash. In her murderous madness, she had awarded herself that illustrious accolade. \u2018You said you\u2019d make me the toast o\u2019 the town, Joey!\u2019 she hissed, advancing on a horrified Joey Lester. \u2018Well, I\u2019ll see to it that I\u2019m toast all right\u2014and you\u2019ll be toasting right along with me, you lying, cheating pig!\u2019 She lashed out at Joey, grabbing him, thrusting the knife against his throat. \u2018Help me, lad!\u2019 Joey howled imploring to Gene. \u2018Don\u2019t let her do me in! You don\u2019t climb as high up the ladder of success as Mr Joey Lester only to die at the hands of a looney bird in a burning hotel in Manchester!\u2019 Gene drew the Magnum and levelled it Minnie. \u2018You dancin\u2019?\u2019 he barked. \u2018You askin\u2019?\u2019 Minnie hissed back. \u2018Believe me, I\u2019m askin\u2019.\u2019 Gene narrowed his eyes and tightened his finger on the trigger. \u2018Well, I ain\u2019t dancin\u2019!\u2019 DCI Hunt pulled on his trusty Magnum. 'This killer means business,' he said. 'Let's roll!' Gene fired a warning shot to show he meant business \u2014 but the hammer of the Magnum clicked down on an empty chamber. He had used all his rounds blasting through the wall to save Sam. Minnie shrieked hysterically. \u2018All gun and no bullet!\u2019 she cried, and she drove the point of the knife harder against Joey\u2019s saggy, quivering throat. \u2018Well, you\u2019re not getting me, Inspector Hunt! I brought you here to arrest this stinking pig\u2014that\u2019s how I wanted to see Christmas in, watching him led off in cuffs! But that plan\u2019s been ruined\u2014which only leaves me one option. I\u2019m staying right here\u2014and Joey\u2019s staying with me! We\u2019re going up in smoke together!\u2019 The roar of the flames was deafening now. Sam looked anxiously about; if they weren\u2019t out of here in a matter of minutes, none of them would make it as far as Christmas Day. Joey howled for help, but Minnie held him fast. Without warning, something went flying across the room\u2014something glittering and metallic, spinning end-over-end as it sailed through the air. The Magnum struck Minnie square in the middle of her forehead, sending her reeling backwards, the knife flying from her hand. Joey broke from her grasp and lumbered away from her as fast as his fat, stumpy legs could manage. Gene strode towards Minnie, but with a terrible scream of rage she leapt up and flung herself at a metal ladder that led up into the overhead lighting rig. She scurried up it as swiftly as a monkey. \u2018Get down here, luv!\u2019 Joey called up to her. When all was said and done, he loved all his girls, even the murderously insane ones. \u2018I won\u2019t press no charges! Come down! I don\u2019t want to see you singed, my little valkyrie!\u2019 Sheets of flame flashed all about the room. Smoke rolled across the ceiling in great billows, obscuring Minnie as she clambered into the lighting rig. Sam felt Annie push past him. He called out to her, but she raced to the ladder and went rapidly up it in pursuit of Minnie. Sam went after her. The metal rungs of the ladder were blisteringly hot to the touch. As he hauled himself up, he felt the ladder starting to pull free from its housings as the fire consumed the wall. Up he went, hand over hand, into the thick smoke above. When he glanced down, he saw, to his shock, Gene Hunt\u2019s face only feet away. \u2018Guv! Get off the ladder!\u2019 \u2018I ain\u2019t letting my officers kill \u2019emselves, Tyler! Not without me, anyways!\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re too heavy for it, guv! You\u2019re going to be bring it all down!\u2019 \u2018Too heavy?!\u2019 Gene barked. \u2018You saucy sod, Tyler. I\u2019ll show you who\u2019s too b*****ding heavy.\u2019 He got no further. Something shifted, screws and bolts clattered to the floor, and the whole ladder swung away from the wall. Sam threw himself at the lighting gantry and grabbed hold of a hot metal girder. As he swung from it, his legs kicking in the air, the whole gantry shuddered and lurched beneath his weight. There was a scream, and Minnie fell helplessly towards him, thrown wildly off balance. She tumbled against Sam, her blue silk sash catching on a spar of ragged metal\u2014then, with a cry, she fell, leaving the sash swinging from the gantry. Beneath him, Sam saw Gene riding the ladder as it fell away from the wall; he landed heavily on Joey Lester\u2014and then Minnie landing heavily on Gene. Smoke and fumes swept into Sam\u2019s eyes, blinding him. \u2018Annie! Where are you!\u2019 \u2018Sam! I\u2019m here! I can\u2019t get down!\u2019 Through the smoke, Sam could just make out Annie hanging precariously from a collapsing chunk of ruined gantry. In moments, she would fall\u2014and below her was not a big soft DCI to land on but a mass of roaring fire. Sam grabbed the silk sash that Minnie had left dangling. He flung out one end of the sash like a lasso, looping it over Annie\u2019s body. With all his strength, and praying that the silk didn\u2019t split, he hauled Annie towards him. The silk sash did not let him down. He dragged her close enough to let her fall safely onto Minnie, who was still atop Gene, who was still atop Joey. When she landed, he heard Minnie, Gene and Joey all let out a mighty OOF! in unison. Sam had a glimpse of Annie leaping to her feet and wildly beckoning him to jump, jump! She still had the silk sash around her body \u2014 the silk sash that declared her to be MISS MANCHESTER & SALFORD EAST 1973. \u2018You are that, Annie\u2014and more,\u2019 said Sam to himself, and with that he jumped. \u2018Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh. Oh jingle bells ...\u2019 It was ten seconds past midnight. Sam and Annie, Chris and Ray\u2014and, of course, Gene Hunt\u2014were together in the warm, fag-stained snug of the Railway Arms, singing in Christmas Day. Their rendition was ragged, out of tune, dreadful\u2014but heartfelt. Sam looked at Annie as he sang, and wondered how many more Christmases he would spend with her. Would they still be here, together, in 1975? Or \u201976? Or as far as the Eighties? Would he one day find himself celebrating in the 21st century? Would he come full circle, and return, at last, to the time from which he had been so suddenly and violently expelled? One year at a time, Sam told himself. Let\u2019s just take it one year at a time. He found himself glancing across at the pub\u2019s redoubtable landlord, Nelson, who raised his glass at him, grinning knowingly: \u2018Merry Christmas to you, Sam, sir. A very merry Christmas!\u2019 \u2018Everyone shut their traps and listen!\u2019 Gene suddenly bellowed. He glared at his colleagues and intoned: \u2018Some of us nearly didn\u2019t make it here to the Arms this evening. Some of us nearly got our arses roasted\u2014some of us nearly got flattened. But all\u2019s well that ends well\u2014no one got fried tonight, and we\u2019re all here to tell the tale \u2026 thanks in no small part to DI Tyler and what\u2019s-her-face, the soppy bird.\u2019 \u2018You love me really, guv,\u2019 grinned Annie. \u2018In your dreams, toots,\u2019 Gene came back at her. But he raised his glass and said: \u2018To Sam and Annie. The department needs you. Both of you.\u2019 The toast was taken up by Chris and even Ray: to Sam and Annie. \u2018OK, enough of this cobblers, it\u2019s time for some real music,\u2019 announced Chris, fiddling with his beloved transistor radio. He twirled the tuning dial\u2014and out blasted Suzi Quatro. Chris\u2019s face lit up, and he hollered out right along with Suzi: So make a stand for your man, honey! Try to can the can! Put your man in the can, honey! Get him while you can!"@en . "*DCI Gene Hunt\n*DI Sam Tyler\n*DS Ray Carling\n*DC Chris Skelton\n*WDC Annie Cartwright"@en . "*Christmas\n**Christmas card"@en . "*Miss Manchester & \u00ADSalford East beauty pagent"@en . "*Gene Hunt's Magnum Revolver"@en . . "*Ford Cortina"@en . "The Scorpion Sting"@en . . "*Joey Lester \n*Ingrid \n*Minnie \n*Mrs Lester"@en . . "A cold, grey Christmas Eve at Manchester CID, A-Division, 1973. A few limp strips of Christmas tinsel hung from the concrete pillars of the incident room. A tatty, plastic fairy in mini-skirt and suspenders \u00ADdangled \u00ADobscenely from DCI Gene Hunt\u2019s office door. DI Sam Tyler sat at his desk, \u00ADignoring the report he was supposed to be writing and staring, instead, through the window, out at the \u00ADominous black clouds that were forming over the city skyline. Would the snow fall when everyone settled down for the big film on TV? What were they watching\u2014Toy Story? The Lord Of The Rings? \u2018Not the mole!\u2019"@en . "*Stopford House\n**Gene Hunt's office (Stopford House)\n*Imperial Deluxe Hotel"@en . . "*The Scorpion"@en .