"Sometimes you have to take risks. My next-door-neighbor, Phil, is an average guy in many respects; however, on occasion he does a thing I react to the news of with a mix of horror and admiration. Thus, when Phil told me his sister was getting close to giving birth as a single mom in Los Angeles, and she needed him there for support, I knew something bizarre was about to ensue in what would normally be a regular cross-country trip. You see, Phil doesn\u2019t make much money. Phil briefly glanced over at my shivering form."@en . . "UnBooks:Special Insert Feature:Phil Eats His Way Across North America"@en . . . "Sometimes you have to take risks. My next-door-neighbor, Phil, is an average guy in many respects; however, on occasion he does a thing I react to the news of with a mix of horror and admiration. Thus, when Phil told me his sister was getting close to giving birth as a single mom in Los Angeles, and she needed him there for support, I knew something bizarre was about to ensue in what would normally be a regular cross-country trip. You see, Phil doesn\u2019t make much money. That meant Phil wouldn\u2019t be taking a plane, train or rocket ship from Connecticut to California. He would be driving his full-size, second generation, leatherette seated, two-door, vintage, collector-plated, red 1972 Buick Skylark. The one that pumps gasoline fumes into the passenger cabin, forcing you to drive at high speed with the windows down. But I knew that wouldn\u2019t be my main concern. As you know restaurants, with their high overhead and fancy spreads, are expensive. Phil was going to have to make some pretty interesting choices as he ate his way across North America; and I found I had to tag along with him to see what those choices were. I was due for a break anyway. It was going to be awful. Not just sleeping in the car (because motels are expensive too), or camping, which would be worse; not just the damp smell of used socks that would fill the car every time we stopped and rolled up the windows for safety; no, the very worst thing about this trip with Phil would be the constant, monotonous vibratory drone of Eisenhower-era \u201Cnational defense\u201D (read: not expensive) highway concrete. After awhile, it gets into your teeth. The expedition began at 4AM. Something was missing, however. Phil tried knocking, then throwing rocks at my bedroom window. The sun was up when we pulled out of the driveway. Wasting no time, Phil headed us west and away from the coastline. Pretty soon we rolled onto the highway. As he had in town, Phil drove at a constant 55 MPH. My clamped teeth started to harmonize with the concrete vibration almost immediately. \u201CDo you think we could roll the windows down now?\u201D I managed to ask. Phil nodded. Hand cranks were turned. Wind rushed in. \u201CWhere do you think we\u2019ll stop for breakfast?\u201D Phil briefly glanced over at my shivering form. \u201CNo time for breakfast. We\u2019ll conserve our energy, like the pioneers, and have a large midday meal. It\u2019s healthier for you that way.\u201D Many hours later, having left Connecticut long behind and passed through part of New York state, both of us listening to my stomach gurgling to advise its emptiness, Phil stopped the car to fuel up just outside Scranton, PA."@en .